Love Means Holding On
by Clana Fan160
Summary: After breaking up, Ephram and Amy are joined together to battle an obstacle worse than any other before.
1. Back To Bed

Love Means Holding On-Part One

Setting: Takes place in the third season right after the Need To Know episode and winter break.

Notes: I know this there aren't many Everwood fanfics, but I'll usually update regularly. Send all the reviews you can and if you all like my writing I'll write up a new story for all you diehard E/A fans like myself. I wanted to stay true to the storyline right now at least for my first fic on Everwood, so you can tell I started writing this at in January. I hope you like it and remember reviews are appreciated.

Ephram opened his eyes as the continuous beeping of his alarm clock started to make his head pound. The alarm clock signified the end of the winter break and the beginning of confrontation between him and Amy or at least some inevitable interaction. It killed him to know that she was a few blocks away laying in bed and he couldn't call her. It killed him to know that most likely she won't allow him to speak to her let alone kiss or hug her as he had done everyday since they worked out their problems when he returned from Julliard's summer program. He had sent a letter of apology everyday since he had lied to her about Madison. He sent her flowers which alerted her parents that there were problems in paradise. He laid her Christmas gift on the Abbott porch at 5 a.m. on Christmas morning. Ephram purchased the bracelet that matched the necklace he bought her for her present. Even the gift didn't gain a response from her. He didn't want to face the facts, but in the back of his mind he thought, 'Oh God. We're done.'

A couple of blocks away, Amy Abbott lay on her side with silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Suddenly she had flashback of the night at the cabin. She had been so happy and in what she believed to be the best relationship and the last relationship she'd ever have. She believed that Ephram and her were the perfect couple. They had some small communication problems because Ephram's not that good at talking to other people in sticky situations, but she believed that he would always be honest and protect her from harm. Suddenly it all fizzled away and her alarm clock began to go off. She turned it off and rolled out of bed. She went to the window and gazed out. She had been at her window when she heard Ephram pull up on Christmas. She hid behind the curtain as he gazed at her window. She watched him stand there in the freezing cold and snow as he ran back to his car to drive away. She had a small chuckle as she saw him slip on a patch of ice and quickly recover himself. With the coast clear, she quietly climbed downstairs and opened the front door to find a jewelry box and an envelope. She did her best not to make the stairs squeak as she climbed up the stairs and closed her bedroom door. Just to be safe she climbed inside her closet and shut the door. She turned on a flashlight and opened the box. She was dumbfounded as she found the beautiful bracelet that matched her necklace. This made her cry because she wished that he never lied and she could rush over to his house and kiss him and just cuddle with him and fall asleep under the covers. She missed feeling him just lying next her and running his hand over her arm, sending that wonderful tingly feeling of happiness surging through her body. She opened the letter and read it:

Amy,

I know that our relationship is so up in the air and that I messed up really bad. This letter may sound cheesy to you because you probably don't believe that I love you anymore. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else. It's the truth and I hope you believe me and we can build trust again. I know that every attempt and every different way I've tried to say this just makes our distance become farther and farther away even though we just live a couple of blocks away from each other. I hope you like the present. I still believe what I told you when I gave you that necklace. I think we are forever and if you can't forgive me now then I have to have faith that one day it can all be right again. I've decided that I'm going to give you space from now on. I'll be here for you if you need me and I'll be here if you can forgive me. I'm sorry Amy. I love you.

Merry Christmas,

Ephram

Amy buried the letter along with all the other apology letters in the bottom of a box in her closet. She laid back against her clothes. She had no idea what she was going to do. Today she had to see him and possibly talk to him for the first time. She didn't know if she could forgive him or not. Should she give the necklace and the bracelet back which would make it clear everything was over? All she knew was that right now it didn't feel right and she just hoped and prayed he wouldn't be there today even though she knew that was remotely possibly because karma was bound to come back and kick her in the ass. She got up and decided that she had to get ready to go back into the hell pit.

Ephram had already gotten dressed and went downstairs. His dad was cooking poptarts in the toaster and pouring three glasses of orange juice. "Why you look like a ball of sunshine today,"Dr. Brown commented with a hint of early morning sarcasm. "I don't feel very good today, okay,"Ephram snapped backed as he scrunched up his long sleeved and began to itch his arm. "Are you feeling sick today?"Dr. Brown asked. "My muscles ache a little and I have this little headache, it's no big deal,"Ephram rushed the conversation along. Dr. Brown walked over to Ephram and put his hand on his forehead. "Whoa. Hey you're burning up. I'm going to get the thermometer out of my medical bag and you go upstairs and get your sweats back on,"Dr. Brown ordered. Ephram didn't argue because he didn't mind not going to school today. He'd love another day of leisure and solitude, oh and wallowing in his stupidity, 'that might be fun,' he thought as he slipped on his sweats. His dad came up to his room holding his medical bag. He got out the stethoscope and the thermometer. He stuck the cold metal part in his mouth and as Ephram began to say something sarcastic Andy told him to keep his mouth shut or else, for medical purposes of course. He then put the stethoscope on his ears and listen to his lungs. "Well I hear a little rattling in your lungs, but it's nothing to treat yet,"he paused to remove the thermometer,"Oh. 103 degrees. Yep. Ephram I'm going to get you the phone and lay it on your night stand. I'm on speed dial and so is Nina next door or at the diner. If anything happens I want you to call me immediately I will be in my office and maybe I'll come home for lunch to check on you. I want you to sleep and regenerate today. Here is some aspirin and fever medicine. I want you to take an adequate amount with no commentary on the taste if at all possible. I would stay if I didn't have a full load today." Ephram just nodded because he didn't really feel like talking that much. "Take care son,"Dr. Brown said as he left the room. Ephram closed his eyes and was at peace knowing he could relax in an empty house today and just sleep all day. He thought it sounded like heaven and with that, he drifted off to sleep.


	2. Ephram Brown: Absent

Love Means Holding On- Chapter Two

Notes: Thanks to everybody who's reviewed this so quickly. I hope you still like it and keep those review coming. This chapter takes place the same day as the first and picks up pretty much right where I left off.

Amy came to pick up Hannah and just drove into the driveway and didn't leave her car. She looked and saw that Ephram was still in his house because his car was parked on the street. Hannah suddenly opened the car door and made Amy jump. "Hey Amy. I haven't seen him come out,"she chimed in aware that Amy had been trying to use x-ray vision to see through Ephram's curtain prior to her entry into the car. "Oh,"she commented fairly uncomfortable. Amy glanced back at his window and would've given anything to just know why he was still in there. "Do you want to talk about it some more or would you like me to shut up?"Hannah asked ready to be a supportive best friend if Amy needed it. "I don't really feel like talking about it anymore. I kinda, just wanna forget all about it for awhile,"she said feeling very miserable and did not want to rub salt in the wound anymore than already had been done. Their drive was fairly silent, but it only takes five minutes to get to County anyway. They parted and went to their first periods with only a see ya later. As Amy sat in her first hour she wanted to lay her head down on the desk but she knew she couldn't. She began to daydream and dread having to see him in the hallway or class or the lunch room or anywhere.

Ephram went downstairs and poured himself a cup of coffee out of the pot his dad had made. He looked at the time. It was 10 o'clock which meant he'd slept for two hours and Amy would be going to third hour in five minutes and officially noticing his absence. He couldn't stand thinking about it anymore. He decided a good escape of his degrading mind would be to watch a funny movie.

Andy had already had three patients a little after 10 o'clock and the next was something and someone he dreaded more than Ephram dreaded confronting Amy, Amanda and the actual patient John Hayes. He told Amanda that he had to stop therapy, but then out of guilt he rescinded the order and agreed to head a team of specialists that he had assembled to study John's case. Of course he rescinded after kissing and sleeping with Amanda, but he rescinded none the less. The guilt of his actions was eating him alive and he concluded that he had to stop it before causing Ephram and Delia public embarrassment. Louise, his and Dr. Abbott's nurse knocked on his door interrupting his ability to sort through the mess his life had spiraled into. She opened the door and said, "Dr. Brown, Amanda Hayes is here to see you." Louise stepped aside and the blonde figure of Amanda stepped through his door which made him wince. Louise shut the door as she left the room. Amanda walked swiftly behind the desk and kissed him without speaking a word. "Hey you. I missed you yesterday. Did you loose your way on the very tricky streets of Everwood or did you loose that damn map to my house again. You really should draw it on your arm in permanent marker,"Amanda said as she kissed his cheek and went back around the desk and sat down in a chair. "I need to talk to you. Look this time I'm serious. This has to end today. Both of us have already gone too far. You have become an adulterer and I've become an unethical doctor, a disappointment and embarrassment to my children, and a person who is overwhelmed with guilt and nothing else. This must stop before our children and this whole town get involved,"Andy said sternly. "Look Andy, why would you sleep with me if you don't care about me. I know you care and you wish I wasn't married. You shouldn't care what the stupid town thinks. Look I can't divorce my husband and he's not dead as you well know. I have been alone for five years and I feel I've moved on and fallen in love with you. People should understand the situation. They all have no right to judge,"Amanda said escalating her voice slightly. "Look Amanda, Mrs. Hayes, I don't even understand why either of us could do it. You are married. You have loyalties and so do I. This is over. It has to be," Andy said walking to the door opening it. Amanda got up and walked out of the office rather quickly and Andy slammed his office door.

Amy spotted Hannah at lunch sitting at a table in the corner and joined her. "Hey. Look I know I said that I didn't want to mention this subject, but do you know where Ephram is today? He's not at school,"Amy asked. "I have no clue. I haven't talked to him since we had Christmas dinner over there,"Hannah said. Amy shrugged her shoulders and decided to chock it up to flu. "Was he okay, I mean when you talked to him on Christmas,"Amy asked letting her curiosity get the better of her. "Well he didn't want to talk about you. He had a pretty bad headache, but that was probably because he was consumed with making sure Delia was happy. I guess he feels like he has to be her other parent or something. I think he missed his mom. I saw him staring a photo and then taking it and going to his room. You know Ephram, he didn't want to talk about it,"She said with a slight smirk until she remembered she was talking to Amy, the girl knew Ephram better than anyone could imagine.

As Ephram was watching Meet the Parents, he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He ran to the bathroom just in time to throw-up all over the bathroom instead of the living room. As he looked at the mess, it only made him feel worse. He cleaned and sanitized the room and threw the throw rugs into the washing machine. After cleaning he was wore out and had the urge to lay down in his bed. As he came to the staircase he glanced at them and realized they might as well be Everest. As he climbed he thought, 'They didn't look this tall yesterday.' When he finally reached the top he felt like crawling to his bed, but resisted the urge. Just as he collapsed on his bed he noticed was going to be sick again so he forced his legs to propel him into the bathroom and he actually hit his target this time. He lazily walked back to his room and had awful chills so he turned the heater to 80 degrees and climbed under four blankets. Ephram turned over and could no longer keep his eyes open.

Amy and Hannah pulled up in Nina's driveway and saw his car still in front of his house, unmoved. "Would you like me to go check on him and report back to you? I could not mention you at all,"Hannah offered. "Do whatever you want to, but just for your info I'll keep my cell on just incase,"Amy said with a small smile. "Bye,"Hannah said shutting the car door and watching her pull away.


	3. Discovery

Love Means Holding On-Part 3

Discovery

Notes: This chapter takes place after the second chapter ended. Thanks for all the reviews. Keep them coming and I'll keep the chapters coming.

She set her backpack down on the porch and walked to the front door and knocked on the door. Nobody answered the door. She pulled the key out from under the mat and opened the door. She called Ephram's name and nobody answered she climbed the stairs to his bedroom with it's door wide open. She peeked in and saw him wrapped in a blanket and viewed the contents on his bedside table which confirmed the fever assumption. She walked over and tapped on his arm a few times and till he began to stir. "Dad?"he asked with eyes still closed. "Nope. Just Hannah,"Hannah said with a smile. "Oh . . .Hi Hannah. What brings you to the house of the Browns?"Ephram asked still clinging to his blankets. "Well, I didn't see you at school today so I thought that maybe I should go out of my way before I went home and drop by to see what's going on. When you didn't open the door, I let myself in. If that's okay with you,"she commented. "I'm sorry I didn't hear the door and it's so nice of you to go out of your way." She pulled a chair up to his bedside and sat down. "So what's wrong? Are you just playing hookie? By the way it's hot in here!"Hannah said noticing the stifling heat. "No, I have a 103 fever and I'm freezing in here. Missing school is just a happy bonus,"Ephram remarked sarcastically. As Hannah began to comment on his sarcasm Ephram's face went pale and he looked like he was going to be sick. He ran out of bed and proceeded to throw-up again. Hannah sweetly put her hand on his back and looked away for fear of spreading his germs. When he was done he went and bundled back into bed. "Let me feel your head,"she said reaching and feeling his head. "Wow, you do have a fever. Let me get a cold cloth for you. I'll be back."Hannah came back with the cloth to find Ephram asleep. She put the cloth on his forehead and quietly let herself out.

When Hannah arrived at her house she ran to grab the phone because maybe Amy would feel sorry for him and forgive him. The phone rang once before Amy picked up making it obvious that she was at her house sitting and staring at the phone. "Hey. . .So what did you . .I mean what happened?"Amy asked. "Well he didn't answer the door so I had to left myself in. I went upstairs to find him bundled up in bed knocked out with the heater on so high I couldn't breathe. When I woke him up he said he had a fever and mid sentence got sick if you know what I mean. I got him a cold cloth, came back he was knocked out again. So then I left and came straight home,"Hannah said relaying the events hoping she'd take the bait. "Is he okay?"Amy asked very quietly. "I don't know. He didn't look so good. He was pale and having chills. I'm sure he'll be fine in a couple of days,"Hannah said trying to make him sound in need of her help. Amy laid back in her bed. "I'll talk to you later Hannah." With that she closed her cellphone and began to stare at that ceiling and forcing herself not to go over there to check on him.

'I can't. He lied to me and I don't know if I can forgive him. Just because he's sick, that's not a reason to pity him or break this blessed silence between us. Nope. I can't. Plus I'm busy with stuff and he doesn't deserve me. Even though it would feel good to forgive him and hug him and tuck him in bed and watch him drift off to sleep, I can't,'Amy thought while staring at the ceiling.

Harold walked into Andy's office right before the day was over and sat down in the chair in front of the desk. "How's your day going, cause you don't look so good?"Harold asked staring at Andy. "Well Ephram's home with a fever and Amanda and I had another ugly confrontation to resolve the latest issues,"Andy said staring at his desk. Harold's stare became uglier at the mention of Amanda Hayes. "I thought you told me your affair Mrs. Hayes was over because let me remind you it's unethical and immoral and I'll just say it plain wrong. She's married to a patient and a man who suffered a severe stroke,"Harold said through almost gritted teeth. Andy stood up and threw and pushed a stack of papers of his desk, "Harold, I've tried to end it damn it. I did it again today and she won't except . ."Andy stopped mid sentence and collapsed. Harold rushed to his side. "LOUISE-LOUISE. GET MY STETHOSCOPE AND CALL AN AMBULANCE NOW!" Dr. Abbott checked Andy's pulse and Louise came running in with the stethoscope. "Doctor you know how long it'll take to get an ambulance here,"Louise reminded Dr. Abbott. "We'll have to stabilize and rush him to the hospital. Let's go now!"


	4. Calling On An Old Friend

Love Means Holding On- Part 4

Calling On An Old Friend

Ephram woke up coughing hard. He went into the bathroom and started coughing up fluid. He wiped his mouth went back to his bedroom, picked up the cold medicine and stared at.

FOR COLD, FEVER, HEADACHE, ALLERGIES, COUGHING, OR CONGESTION. "Well, Cheers." He swallowed a gulp and the phone rang. He reached down and answered it.

Ephram: Hello

Nina: Ephram, It's Nina and there's a problem

Ephram: What? Is it Delia?

Nina: No Delia's fine. It's your father. He collapsed in his office today. Dr. Abbott just called from the car. He's rushing him to the hospital.

Ephram: Do you have Delia?

Nina: Yeah. She's here.

Ephram: Can you do me a favor and keep her tonight. I'm going to the hospital and I don't want her to be there.

Nina: Sure. No problem

Ephram: Bye.

Nina: Drive safe.

With that Ephram hung up the phone and dialed another number and it rang

Mrs. Abbott: Hello.

Ephram: Mrs. Abbott, it's Ephram is Bright home?

Mrs. Abbott: Yeah he's upstairs. I'll call him.

"Bright, you have a phone call,"Mrs. Abbott yelled up the stairs. Bright ran down the stairs and picked up the phone.

Bright: Hello.

Ephram: Hey, It's Ephram.

Bright: Hey, man. I haven't got to talk to you for awhile. What's up?

Ephram: Nina just called me and told me that your dad is rushing my dad to the hospital as we speak and I can't drive because I'm doped on cold medicine and I have a major fever. Can you pick me up and take me to the hospital?

Bright: Sure man. I'll be right over.

Ephram: You may want to tell your mother so she doesn't worry. See ya.

Bright: Bye.

Bright walked into the dining room where his sister was setting the table and his mother was placing dinner on the table. "I've gotta go take Ephram to the hospital ..,"Bright was cut off by Amy. "Why does Ephram need to go to the hospital? Is something wrong?"She asked frantically. "Apparently his dad collapsed in his office and dad is rushing him to the hospital and Ephram can't drive because he's doped up with meds and has a fever so I have to drive him,"Bright replied. "Tell your father to stay with him as long as he needs. Drive safe you two. Call me when you find out how Dr. Brown is," Rose said walking to the coat stand and handing Bright his coat. Bright turned toward Amy, "Do you want to come? I think he needs you now,"Bright said to convince her. Amy shook her head and went upstairs.

Dr. Abbott ran inside the ER to find a doctor. "I need a gurney out front. It's an emergency." A doctor, two nurses, and an intern sliding a gurney followed him out front and lifted Dr. Brown onto it. "Who are you?"the doctor asked Dr. Abbott. "Dr. Harold Abbott of Everwood, Colorado. This is Dr. Andrew Brown,"Dr. Abbott informed them. The doctor looked at the nurses and intern as they were sliding it into an exam room. "This is Dr. Andrew Brown. Wow. Doctor you need to wait outside." They shut the exam room doors and Harold joined Louise in the waiting room. A nurse came by with paperwork for him to fill out and all they could do is sit and wait.

Bright and Ephram were driving along and Ephram was continually coughing and Bright noticed that he could hear his breathing which he knew was not normal. "Ephram, I know this is stupid to ask, but are you okay?"Bright asked. Ephram simply shook his head and closed his eyes, leaned back, and concentrated on his breathing. Bright looked over and saw him itching his arm pretty furiously. Ephram's eyes popped open, "Give me a bag or bucket or something,"he said frantically. Bright reached into the back seat and handed him a silverware dish that looked like it was from the restaurant he used to work at. He then proceeded to throw-up until he gagged himself. This made Bright really worry, but ignoring his thoughts he kept driving.

Mrs. Abbott knocked on Amy's door until she finally heard Amy say come in. Amy was sitting in the dark in the corner of her room on the floor. "Do you feel like eating, sweetie?"Rose asked knowing the answer. "I don't think so mom,"she said quietly. "Is this floor reserved?"Rose asked her daughter. Amy shook her head and Rose sat down next to her and put her arm around her. Amy leaned on her mother's shoulder. "Amy I know you and Ephram had some sort of fight, but I know he would appreciate it if you went to the hospital. After all, he's sick and his dad has God knows what wrong with him. He doesn't have anyone. He doesn't have a mom all he has is Bright,"Rose said. A tear slid down Amy's cheek, "Things are so messed up between us mom,"Amy cried to her mother. "Never the less, Ephram came to the hospital with you when you needed him and you still care about him right. I think if you go it might help some of your problems or it might not, but Ephram needs you. He needs some support and forget your problems. If you care about him, then go,"Her mother said very convincingly. Amy looked at her mother and suddenly realized she was right. No matter what happens she will always care about him and she could never forgive herself if she didn't go. Amy kissed her mother on the cheek and gave her a hug. "I'm going to go." She got up and left the room. Rose sat in the room on the floor and looked around. "Now how am I going to get up?"she said laughing.


	5. Forgiving

Love Means Holding On-Part Five

Father and Son To the E.R.

Notes:This Takes Place On the Same Day as the previous chapters.

Bright dropped Ephram off at the ER overhang and pulled around to get a parking spot. Ephram walked into the waiting room completely wore out and out of breath, but he found Dr. Abbott sitting along the wall. "Dr. Abbott how's my dad,"he spit out. "Ephram, they've stabilized your dad and are doing tests. . . . . . Son, do you feel okay? You look pale,"Dr. Abbott answered him. "I'm sick. I've gotta sit down. I feel a little wore out nothing big just the flu,"Ephram said taking a seat across from Dr. Abbott. "What are your symptoms?"Dr. Abbott asked. "I'm tired, I've threw up a couple times, fever, coughing, and a little chest pain,"Ephram told Dr. Abbott. A doctor approached them. "Hello I'm Dr. Arthur. I'm Dr. Brown's attending physician. We still are waiting on tests results, but he is sedated and in his room which is room 160. If you need anything,"The doctor said about to walk away. "Doctor this is Dr. Brown's son," Harold ushered the doctor away from Ephram so he couldn't hear," Doctor, I believe Ephram Brown has symptoms of pneumonia or bronchitis. He needs a wheelchair and x-rays immediately. It looks like he can hardly breathe. I think he needs to be admitted,"Harold told the other doctor and he nodded his head and walked over to Ephram. "Hi Ephram. I want you to come with me to an exam room and we'll see if we can help you while your dad is out okay." Ephram followed the doctor into and exam room.

"Okay Ephram, I want you to take off your shirt and take a very deep breath and I'm going to listen to your lungs,"the doctor instructed. The doctor put the cold metal end on his chest which caused him to jump. "Sorry,"the doctor apologized as he breathed warm air onto the end. He listened to Ephram's lungs and made a 'humph' sound which made Ephram wonder. "Ephram we're going to take some x-rays of your lungs to see what we're dealing with,"Dr. Arthur said. "What do you think it is?"Ephram asked. "It could be pneumonia, possibly. Let me ask you something. Be honest. Is it hurting you to breathe right now?" Ephram shook his head yes. "Do you have any energy? If I asked you to jump could you do it?" He shook his head no. "Finally before I call for a wheelchair and get you into a gown, How many times have you thrown up today?" Ephram thought a minute, "Five times and I've coughed up some liquid a couple times." The doctor walked over and got a gown and a robe from the closet. "Put these on and a nurse and I will be back to take you to x-ray." The doctor left and went to the waiting room where Bright had joined Louise and his father. "I think you're right Dr. Abbott. He's been coughing up fluid along with his other symptoms. He's getting into a gown and going to be in x-ray in a few minutes. You can visit Dr. Brown if you wish,"Dr. Arthur turned around and fetched a nurse with a wheelchair and headed back in the direction of Ephram's room. Dr. Abbott and Louise got up to go to Dr. Brown's room, but Bright remained seated. "Are you coming Bright?"his father asked. "Nah. I have a hunch Amy will show up and I'll be here when she does." Harold nodded and they headed down the hall and turned a corner. Bright looked around and saw Cosmogirl and decided 'what the hell might as well.'

Back at Nina's house Delia and Sam went along playing not knowing that Andy was in the hospital. Nina walked up to Delia who was sitting on the couch watching A Cinderella Story next to Sam on the couch. "Delia, sweetie, can I talk to you for a minute in private. Sam you keep watching and we'll watch it again later,"Nina said as she ushered Delia into her bedroom. "Look I got a phone call a little while ago. Your father collapsed in his office today and is at the hospital. Ephram and Dr. Abbott are both there and you're supposed to stay tonight here. I want you to know I'm here for you. I don't think it's anything to worry about. He's probably just tired,"Nina babbled on and finally pulled the shocked Delia into a hug.

As Bright was halfway through Cosmogirl and currently on the page stating the latest winter fashions when he paused for a moment and glanced up to see Amy walking towards him. "I knew you'd come. Ya know you could've just came with me instead of pouting." Amy rolled her eyes at her brother. "Where's Ephram and dad?"Amy asked looking around the waiting room. "Dad is in with Dr. Brown and Ephram is having x-rays on his chest done,"Bright told her. Amy's enlarged to the sizes of strawberries and she took a deep breath. "Is it serious?"she asked her brother. "Well he's having trouble breathing, has a fever, chest pain, has been throwing up all day, and has no energy. Dad thinks it's pneumonia,"Bright said. "Should it be long before he's out?"she asked. Bright shrugged his shoulders and went back to reading. He looked up. "I think I'll go call mom,"as he remembered his promise and he left her sitting alone in the waiting room. A little time passed and a doctor came into the waiting room and Amy jumped on the chance to find out something. "Excuse me Doctor do you know if Ephram Brown is out of his x-ray yet?"she asked hoping he would know. "Actually they just brought him out and are putting him in a room. I'm his doctor, Dr. Arthur. Who are you?"the doctor asked. "I'm . .his . . . girlfriend,"she answered. The doctor had a small smile, "Okay, he could barely stay awake during x-rays and passed out right after he got out so I gave him something to let him sleep for awhile and we're going to give him some antibiotics for pneumonia and we'll wait to see if it works. You can see him, he's in room 205 okay. I'll tell you a secret. If you go to his room, close the door, and are really quiet, we'll bend the visiting hours thing,"he said with a smirk. Dr. Arthur was happy to bend a little for Andrew Brown, one of his heros.

Amy walked slowly and paused when she reached Ephram's room. She closed her eyes a quietly opened the door and shut it. Amy stood in the door way and just stared a guy she loved. Ephram had an IV in his arm, was hooked up to a heart monitor, and had a breathing mask over his face. She could hear him breathing which sounding like a rattling. Amy walked over and pulled up a chair to his bedside and sat in it. She couldn't believe that she found herself in the hospital with another boyfriend."Hey Ephram . . . . I heard you were sick from Hannah, but I didn't think it was this bad. I originally came up here because Bright told me your dad is sick I thought I could be here for you. I got your letters and gift and I really loved it. I just had this feeling inside of me, in my heart. This bad feeling. Like I'm not good enough. You can easily lie to me about a girl that you're broken up with but means more to you than me. I don't want to get hurt, especially not by someone who I feel is my . . .soulmate. I'll probably have to repeat this all when you're conscious, but I want you to know,"she paused and slipped her hand inside his,"I love you more than crossing you off my list after one screw up or one fight that won't mean anything down the road. I missed having my hand fit perfectly inside yours. I missed talking to you . . .hugging you . . .kissing you. I hated being with out you, especially on the holidays. You have no idea. . . . Just do me one favor. Then I'll forgive and forget. Get better. . . Good night." She sat up, kissed his forehead and ran her hand through his hair. "I love you, Ephram." Amy sat back in her chair and nodded off to sleep still holding his hand.


	6. Diagnosis

Love Means Holding On-Part 6

Notes: This chapter takes place the next day. Enjoy.

Ephram awoke the next day, coughing his lungs out. He looked over and saw Amy sitting in the chair, asleep holding his hand. He gathered that she forgave him. She looked so cute asleep and quiet. He gave a smile at her snoring. Amy's eyes fluttered open and they immediately met Ephram's eyes. He started to cough and looked away. Amy scooted her chair closer and he looked back at her. "How do you feel?"Amy asked. "I feel a little better,"he with a raspy voice. "Ephram I want you to save your voice and your breath okay. I don't want anything to happen. . . I missed you,"she said bringing her hand to his face. "Get some rest. We have forever to talk,"Amy told him. The door opened and Dr. Arthur and a nurse entered along with Dr. Abbott. "Hi Amy,"Dr. Abbott said in an approving tone. "Doctor how's my dad?"Ephram asked through the mask. "Your dad has developed an ulcer. He's awake and should be fine. He should be discharged in a little while and able to come see you. If the rest of the guests will excuse us we need to administer medication,"the doctor said hinting. The rest of them filed out and Amy gave one last hand squeeze before she left. "How are we feeling today Ephram?"the doctor asked. "Okay,"he spoke through the mask. "Alright, the x-rays I'm putting up here confirm you have pneumonia. You can see the inflammation in your lung here in the alveoli and fluid is prominent in the lung as well. Your case is more severe than most cases of pneumonia. Your symptoms are a little intensified. A.k.a breathing difficulties. Because you're a normally healthy teenage boy you should be able to fight the infection, but we can't be certain. If your lungs fill with more fluid, than surgery may be the only option. We're going to give you a vaccine and we'll monitor it's progress and make sure things going as planned,"the doctor explained. Ephram just nodded and the nurse injected him through the IV.

"Does Dr. Brown know about Ephram?"Amy asked her father while they waited in the hallway outside Ephram's room. "Yes, but we tried not to worry him so I told the doctor to tell the facts and not the possible projections because he needs to be forced to relax if we have to beat him with his own stethoscope,"Dr. Abbott said. "Ephram's breathing sounds so bad,"Amy said worriedly. "Well he is of healthy origin as far as I know so he should pull out of it. He just may need a few days,"Dr. Abbott said to comfort his daughter whom he had seen in this lonely place two years ago. The doctor and the nurse exited Ephram's room and walked to where they were standing. "At Ephram's request, I'm allowed to inform you of his situation as far as it is right now. Ephram has a more serious case of pneumonia. His lung inflamed but the fluid in is his lung is more prominent than a normal case. I'm going to be honest with you, but I'm not ready for him to know. If his breathing does not improve and the fluid increases we may have to have surgery or drain the fluid it's not clear right now. We have to see what the antibiotics do. I'll be back to check on him,"Dr. Arthur said leaving them standing there.

Dr. Arthur made his rounds and returned to Andy Brown's room to discharge him and to tell him where his son's medical treatment was at. Upon entering the room he found Andy Brown dressed and ready to go. "Dr. Brown you look like you are ready to go. Feeling strong?"the doctor asked. "I feel like seeing my son and calling my daughter. Is it more serious than you're letting on?"Dr. Brown asked with a completely serious void of the light hearted he was known for. "We've just medicated and it'll take to completely discover our options. Go down and see him. There's quite a crowd that turned out,"the doctor said as his idol walked past him.

Dr. Brown took the elevator upstairs and walked into Ephram's room to find everyone sitting around talking to Ephram. Ephram's face went straight over to his father and he managed a small smile. "Are you okay dad?"Ephram whispered to Andy. Andy walked over to his bedside. "Of course I am kiddo. I'll be back in a second. I need to speak to Dr. Abbott,"Andy said looking up at Harold. "Yeah after that we should be getting back. Kids you have a couple minutes,"Harold said as Andy rushed him out. Bright walked up to Ephram, "Man feel better. I'll be back tomorrow to make sure you're feeling better and eating the nasty jello." Ephram gave a smile and held up his hand for Bright to take. After that Bright nodded toward his sister and left the room. Amy sat on his bed and Ephram took her hand and she put her other hand on his cheek. "You'll be fine after you recuperate. After we get through this, we can go back to basics, concentrating on us. We'll pick up where we left off. . . . I love you,"Amy said trying to hold back the tears. She had no doubt he'd pull through but she hated seeing him like this. Ephram reached up and pulled the mask down off his face. "I love you too,"After saying that he broke into a coughing fit and a little gasping for breath. Amy reached up and put the mask back on his face. "Remember, we have forever." She reached and kissed him on the cheek and just held her face next to his. . . "I'll see you tomorrow,"she said backing away and giving one last smile before leaving the room.

"Harold thank-you for taking me to the hospital and noticing Ephram's problem. I appreciate it more than you can ever know. I have one more favor to ask and then I will owe you big time for a long time,"Dr. Abbotts' eyebrows scrunched,"I'm not going to be in the office for awhile. At least till Ephram gets better and I've had an adequate vacation to clear my head. If Mrs. Hayes comes by the office I need you to tell her that she needs to stop pursuing this for my health and both our best interests. Also, that we should forget anything ever happened. I'd really be in your debt for a long time,"Andy asked knowing that it was too much for Harold to do but he needed to ask anyway. "I'll do it Andy and you will be held to owing me big time,"Harold said lightening the tense mood. "You take care of Ephram and yourself. If you need anything you know my number,"Harold said as Bright and Amy came walking around the corner. Bright waved as he joined his father who had begun to walk down the hall. Amy walked up to Dr. Brown and wrapped her arms around him. "Take Care." With that she walked away.


	7. Option A or B

Love Means Holding On-Part 7

Notes: This chapter starts the next day after the last chapter at noontime.

Wednesday at Noontime . . .

Ephram had slept all night and Andy had not slept a wink. He sat in the corner of the room, thinking and daydreaming of a time when things could've been much different than they are now. Julia could be here and experiencing this and telling Andy how to feel and how to act. For a moment he wondered what would happen if something happened to Ephram or him or both of them. Delia would be alone or Ephram would be responsible for Delia or even worse Andy would have to live with losing another loved one. He didn't think he could survive another one. After thinking that he scolded himself for entertaining the idea.

Ephram's eyes opened and he looked around the room and saw his father deep in thought. "Dad,"Ephram said alerting his father. "You look tired you should go home and get some sleep,"Ephram said thoughtfully. "I'm not going to leave you here alone,"Andy said. "Look, you're not going to do any good if you're in a hospital bed a floor below. Go check on Delia and sleep and come back. Amy will be here in a few hours,"Ephram said through his mask. A doctor and a nurse entered the room. "Hey Ephram. I'm Dr. Seth Cooper. Dr. Arthur is off today, but on call in case we need him and I'm fully aware and up to date on what's going on," he turned to Andy, "I've been debriefed on you as well. Dr. Brown and I'd just like to say it's an honor to meet you. Also, respectfully sir, you need to get some sleep. Stress, poor sleep, and diet is the worst thing you could do now. I know you know this. We'll take care of your son and as soon as anything develops we'll call you or we could offer you your hospital bed back if you would prefer that,"Dr. Cooper said. Ephram thought from his tone that he admired his father so much that he would have him escorted home or to a bed to make him sleep. "Alright son, I'm going to check on your sister at home and get a little sleep, but I'll be back,"Andy said as he walked over and kissed Ephram on the forehead and motioned to the doctor as he walked out.

"Doctor, I don't want my son to be alone tonight and since it's a weekend I'm going to ask his girlfriend to stay. I assume that won't be a problem." The doctor nodded in silent agreement before walking back into Ephram's room. "Ephram has your chest pain improved any after medication?"Dr. Cooper asked. "A little,"Ephram said. Dr. Cooper pushed on his chest slightly and Ephram gasped. "Okay, we're going to give the medicine a chance until the morning. After that we're going to take some sort of action," Dr. Cooper told Ephram.

An hour later, Amy quietly came into his room because Ephram was sound asleep and was peaceful. She set up a cd player and started to play the mix cd she made for Ephram that was punk, but soft. Dr. Brown had asked her to watch over him and spend the night at the hospital and Amy couldn't have been more pleased to be needed and actually allowed to help. She was still amazed and emotional from having to be at the hospital for yet another boyfriend. "What's that?"Ephram asked looking at the cd player. "You know what it is,"Amy said lightening her mood. Ephram smiled and patted the bed for her to come sit down on it. He scooted over and she laid down next to him and put her arm over his chest. Noticing the sensitivity in his chest she softly rubbed it while she looked into his eyes. He slid the mask off his face. "Your breathing is a little better but you shouldn't take chances,"Amy said concerned. "If I can't breathe I'll put it back on, okay,"Ephram said trying to convince her. "How was your school day?"Ephram asked in his raspy voice. "It was long and hard. I didn't want to go but . .,"Amy said but Ephram finished her sentence. "It's okay. This goes on your record and you can't miss. I don't want you to miss,"Ephram said sweetly. "So was there a lot of excitement around here. Did you meet any hot nurses?"Amy asked with a smile, being strong for him. "Oh yea, Greg was nice. He promised to spoon feed me my jell-o later,"Ephram laughed as Amy smacked him his arm. "Did the doctor say if you should feel better yet?"Amy asked. "He said something about . . .if the medicine hadn't worked by . . .uh . . tomorrow . . then he'd see . . .what's next,"He said his voice getting lower. He slid the mask back on his face. "Out of breath?"Amy concluded. "Yea. It's a weird feeling It feels . . .a lot like somebody's got a bag . . .over my head,"Ephram said through the mask. He closed eyes and concentrated on his breathing and when opened them he saw a tear down Amy's face. He reached up and wiped the tear off her cheek. "Don't worry, Amy. It'll all be okay,"Ephram said. "I'm supposed to be telling you that,"Amy said. "I already know it's going to be okay. . . .It may be . .cheesy . .but . .I have you,"Ephram gasped out through the mask as he intertwined her fingers with his.

The Next Day . . .(Thursday)

"Alright Ephram, Dr. Brown I know that you're both tired of this dance and you're ready to go home so we think it's in your best interest to go to our last resorts at this point in time. Surgery. We have Preliminary Surgery which is where we will go through your back and carefully drain the fluid out of your lungs. Now complications could arise. Dr. Brown I know you should be aware of these. Your breathing is already a hazard and at the rate the fluid is building you could drown in your own fluid if we don't act but your lung could collapse. You'll still have functional lungs at least if all goes to plan during surgery. If the first option does not succeed then we may have to remove the lung and you could never play dodgeball again, but would still be very much alive and able to go on with your life. Also, all the normal major surgery concerns apply. All the risks are included. There can always be a mistake made or complication of surgery such as major loss of blood and so on,"the doctor said as he noticed Dr. Brown's facial expression change to discomfort, "Dr. Brown your welcome . . .to suggest any other options you think would be better but I think this is the only alternative at this time with Ephram's condition being what it is,"the doctor waited for some reaction from Andy or Ephram.

"Then we'll go with option A and if we need to do the latter then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it,"Andy said being confident. "Ephram you can be strong and get through this surgery and it will all be fine and things can go back to normal. In the end that's my opinion but this is up to you son. We don't have to operate now, but it's in your best interest,"Andy said reassuring his son. "We'll go ahead with the surgery then,"Ephram said lying in the hospital bed. "Alright. Now comes time for a very unpopular subject but you two need to discuss it before surgery. Ephram needs to sign a document whether he wants to be revived on the operating if you stop breathing. Now off the record I'd recommend a person of your age to opt for it but there is another scenario. If by some very small chance that you would fall into a coma that you could not come out or become unable to breathe on your own if you want to remain alive. It's called the living will which I'm sure your father knows about. This has to be signed before I bring you into the operating room. I'll leave you two to talk about it but the nurses have the forms ready for you." Andy wasted no time in speaking as the doctor left the room, "There's no question in this matter. You're signing the revive order and the order to keep you alive no matter what." Ephram didn't want to make his father upset, but he wanted to really think about signing the revive order, but not wanting to be maintained if he couldn't breathe on his own. He realized this was all one big precaution and everyone who goes through surgery has to go through this process and decide their wishes, but what if he was the unlucky one that had something go wrong during the surgery. "I don't know dad . . .I don't want to be kept on some machine if I can't breathe. I don't want to do that to myself or you. I don't want to be kept alive if I'm a vegetable,"Ephram said. Andy got up from the chair he had been sitting in and sat down on the bed. "I don't want to be forced to give up on you at the first sign of trouble and that's exactly what they'd do if you sign that paper like that,"Andy said. "I always wondered, if that type of conversation was the one that you had with Colin, in the living room, the night before his surgery?"Ephram asked catching Andy completely off guard. "Colin said he didn't want to be a vegetable yes and he didn't want to go through the rehab a second time but, son his case is completely different from yours. He'd been through a similar surgery before, he'd been in a coma and he'd done rehab and recooperated. Plus, he had a head trauma and brain surgery. These forms are only precautions and Colin was one of those patients who was in need of these forms and procedures. Colin's odds were horrible and I did my best but your odds are very good and they're even better if you can believe in yourself. I don't want you to worry about these dumb things because you won't need them. Just do it for me,"Andy said. "Okay, I will,"Ephram said seeing how much it effected his father. Ephram seriously didn't think the form would need to be used, but in his gut he felt strongly that he didn't want to be laying in this bed for the rest of his life trapped somewhere between life and death. Ephram signed the papers like Andy asked and the doctors set the date for his surgery two days later.


	8. Something To Look Forward To

Love Means Holding On-Part Eight

Notes: This chapter takes place in the afternoon of the day the last chapter left off on. I hope you like it and keep the good reviews coming.

Amy and Bright arrived at the hospital in the afternoon to visit with Ephram. Andy excused himself to get some food while they were there. "Pull up a chair Bright,"Ephram said through his mask. "So has there been any talk about what's next?"Amy asked sitting next to him on the bed. "We've gonna have the surgery. . .uh . .it's called a pre . .surgery or somethin . .,"Ephram said through the mask. "Is that the only way?"Bright asked. Ephram nodded, "I signed all those forms today, for the surgery." Amy's face scrunched up hearing those words, "What forms?" Ephram thought a moment, actually reconsidering telling her that information because he knew this would freak her out. In that moment, it was another one of those times he wished that he thought about what he was going to say before he said it. "What forms Ephram?"Amy asked becoming impatient. "It's no big deal . .just a precaution. I signed . .uh . .my living will and revive orders,"Ephram said in almost a whisper.

Amy didn't know what to say. She hadn't thought of this surgery being that dangerous until now. Of course, she realized they were dealing with a major surgery here, but she just thought there couldn't be complications. "Please . .don't worry. It's just a normal precaution with any surgery and it'll be there for the rest of my life,"Ephram said. "Did you say yes or no?"Amy asked. Amy was being a little too vague for Bright to understand exactly what she was talking about, but Ephram got it. "Like I said you don't need to worry, I said yes,"Ephram said in a low raspy voice. "Thank God,"Amy said running her hand through his hair. "Just wait a sec . .Man, what did you say yes to?"Bright asked confused. "He signed a paper that said to revive him if he needed to be. Just like he is repeating, it's a precaution and one I'm glad he took,"Amy said. "Man Ephram this surgery is gonna be a piece of cake for you man,"Bright said trying to be encouraging in his own way. "Man I wish. A piece of cake would be good about now,"Ephram said. "Man, I haven't seen you eat every time I've been here. Are they feeding you in this place?"Bright joked. "I haven't really been hungry actually and I can't really keep food down. I really don't do the feed tube thing either. I'd rather starve than stick some tube in there,"Ephram said. "Well, when you feel better you'll eat all ya want. Plus, you're a little fat anyway,"Bright said. "Why thank-you Bright,"he turned to Amy, "You don't think I'm fat do you?"Ephram asked. "No, baby. I think you're sexy,"Amy said breaking a smile. Bright put his hands over his ears. "Ooh. Jeez, didn't really wanna hear that,"he said giving Amy a weird look as she just shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I'm too dirty for him, the gigolo himself,"Amy said making Ephram laugh. "Hey I may be a gigolo, but nobody wants to hear their sister talk smutty like that,"Bright said wincing. "So you don't wanna hear that my boyfriend is really hot right because I'm your sister,"Amy said triggering a hypothetical button in Bright. "That's it. I'm gonna take a lap around the hospital until your hormones have calmed down,"Bright said leaving the hospital.

"That was easy,"Amy said glancing back at Ephram. "Hey, can you help me sit up. I don't really have much energy from those drugs,"Ephram said. "Of course,"Amy said standing up and helping him pull himself up. He scooted over enough so she could sit with him in the bed. "I know this must be hard for you. With the hospital and the surgery and everything. You can talk to me if you want to,"Ephram said looping his arm through hers. "I don't know. I just hoped I wouldn't have to be here again like this so soon, with someone else I love a lot and I'm worried about you. I don't want you to be sick. This isn't about me though. I'm going to be here for you,"Amy said . Ephram slid off his mask and before Amy could tell him to put it back on he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. Amy closed her eyes and just leaned into his kiss. As he pulled away, their heads remained together and Ephram's gasping broke up the moment because she had to pick up the mask and put it back on his face. Once he regained his breath he began to speak again, "I love you too so whatever affects you affects me. You don't have to hold anything back . .because you feel it's not right,"Ephram said. Amy nodded and put her arm around his back and laid her head on his shoulder. "I can't wait to get out of these stupid white gowns,"Ephram said. "I don't know. I think you should take one of these home with you. When you walk I hear you get a good view of your back side,"Amy said. "Well then I'll have to steal two then. I'll see if they come in any other colors,"Ephram said. "Well if you get better you can see me in anything you want,"Amy said smiling with her head still on his shoulder. "Good, something to look forward to right,"Ephram said. "Yeah, something to look forward to,"Amy said. "Are you staying tonight?"Ephram said. "Actually I brought a bag. I'm staying tonight. I may go home a little tomorrow for a shower, but I'm staying most of my time her until way after your surgery,"Amy said. "Good. It doesn't really feel like I'm in the hospital when you're here. Plus, I'm getting a nice visual of the hospital gown,"Ephram said smiling. "Me too,"Amy said grinning.


	9. Waiting Is Worse

Love Means Holding On-Part Nine

Notes: I'm no doctor and I'm not sure all of the stuff I've included is factual, but that's the point of fiction. I did research some of the medical facts, but I'm sure on some so please don't criticize me because it's pretty much the same thing they do on the show if you listened to the commentary on the Season One DVD.

I hope you like this chapter and reviews are appreciated.

Two Days Later . . .

The hospital waiting room had not changed since the last time this group of people waited for someone to come out of surgery. The only difference was the very talented and highly paid Dr. Brown was sitting in the waiting room instead of showing off his talent and operating on a head trauma victim. The waiting room had added a few new faces too it though. Hannah and Delia both came to wait for Ephram to get out of surgery with the rest of them. Andy had originally said that he wasn't going to allow Delia to be there in case something went wrong and he needed to not worry about her, but she was adamant about going so he eventually gave in. The waiting room was fairly silent and most of the crowd was staring off into space trying not to worry. They all waited three hours before a doctor or anyone came back to say anything. As the doctor walked toward them they all, Amy and Andy sprang out of the seats to get the info.

"He's out of surgery and he did quite well. We drained most all the fluid out and we'll have to medicate him and keep him under observation to make sure this does not happen again and he heals properly. Otherwise, he pulled through really fabulously. I know the doctors in the room are aware, but you all need to realize he went through organ surgery. There's going to be a lot of rehabilitation involved and we need to take it slow." Andy stepped forward, "When can we take him home?" The doctor nodded, "I'd say in at least two weeks but we'll go day to day to see when he's ready. He's should be out of it for the rest of the night, but you can sit with him." The doctor turned and left and they all began to hug each other in relief.

Everyone in the waiting party went home because the doctor assured them they had time before he would wake up, all except Amy who wanted to be in the room when he woke up because then she could be sure he was okay. Amy sat in a chair in Ephram's hospital room next to his bed playing with his hair, waiting for him to wake up. Ephram still had the oxygen mask on, but his breathing wasn't raspy and it sounded . . .normal. Amy was overjoyed that the procedure seemingly worked. Amy stopped playing with Ephram's hair and laid her hand on his bed next to his and just stared at the man she loved. In that moment, she realized that she wanted to always be able to stare at him like this. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. All of a sudden she felt Ephram's hand take hers. She looked down to her hand and back to Ephram who's eyes fluttered open and looked straight to Amy. A smile appeared on Ephram's face which was mirrored by Amy. "How do you feel?"Amy asked. "Like hell,"he breathed out. "Does your chest hurt?"she asked. "Yea,"he told her through the mask. "But you can breathe better right?"Amy asked. "Yea, I don't feel like I'm gasping anymore,"he said softly. "Did everyone else go home?" Ephram asked. "Yeah. I offered to stay with you and keep you company,"Amy said. "Thanks,"Ephram said removing the mask from his face. "I'm glad I stayed. Ephram I want to be here for you,"Amy said with a smile. "Now that I'm a little better and we have some privacy do you want to talk about it?"Ephram asked this question which anyone but Amy would ask what "it" was but she didn't need to. "Ephram, what we have here, us, is very important to me. I've been really up front with everyone that I don't think we're some high school fling that say our goodbyes at graduation and see each other in ten years when you're bald and I'm fat and we can reminisce about the good ol' days. I don't want to be some fill in for Madison or even feel like I'm a fill in for some void that I can't fill, that's why I've been angry. If you choose to be with me I don't want you settling for something you don't want, but can live with. I don't deserve that and neither do you. If you love me . . .and you want to be with me . . then you need to really choose me,"Amy said. " . . .I'm not settling with you at all. I want to be with you. You can compare how I love you to how I thought I felt about Madison. I cared for her, but I can't be with out you. I guess I cared about her in a different way than I realized before I lied to you. She was my first in a lot of categories, but I didn't know what it felt like to really love somebody until I was with you. We don't compete for each others affection and I love that. It's natural with us. I love you and I can tell you whatever I want and not feel scared or hold back. You are what I want. There is no second guessing and no regrets. You're it for me and the last thing I ever want you to feel is like you're . . .second to me which is the farthest from the truth,"Ephram said. "Good. And I love you too, but you if you ever lie to me again I won't be held responsible for what I do to you,"Amy said with a smile. "Don't worry. I won't,"Ephram said.

"So, now that we got the 'issues' out of the way let's move on to the positives. The doctor said you should be in about two weeks. That's good news,"Amy said tracing figures up and down Ephram's arm. "Two more weeks in this bed and then the joyous feeling of walking with every step feeling like a knife is being stabbed into my back sounds like fun,"Ephram said with a little sarcastic chuckle. "You're such a cynic. How do you know it's going to hurt when you walk?"Amy asked. "Well the doctor told me and just having woke up there is a throbbing pain in my back where they cut me open. Also, a second ago I moved and there was a stabbing pain. All sarcasm aside it will be very nice to be home again. I'll have to remain in bed, but atleast I'll be home. Hey, I think I'll probably need a nurse for awhile. Know anybody who'll wear one of those cute short white dresses?"Ephram asked. "Are you fantasizing about me in hospital clothing . . .again. You won't need a nurse but I'll be there with you every minute I can. I promise,"Amy said. "Thank-you for being with me when I know part of you didn't want to and for coming to the hospital when you heard my dad was sick when you were pissed you off and I screwed up . .bad. You are unbelievable,"Ephram said taking his hand and massaging her cheek. "Well we are in this together right?"Amy asked. "Right,"Ephram said.


	10. Coming Home

Notes: I am so sorry for the long delay in this chapter but you know how it it when you get busy. This chapter starts two weeks later.

Amy sat on Ephram's porch waiting for Dr. Brown and Ephram to arrive back home. Ephram was finally released from the hospital and allowed to go home. Sure,

he would have to be in bed and couldn't return to school for awhile, but at least he'd be at home and comfortable. Ephram could walk, slow and steady, but was

ordered by the doctor to walk the absolute minimum. The doctor actually made a list of things that were acceptable to be walking. This is what the list consisted of:

1. Going To The Bathroom

2. Taking A Bath

3.An Emergency: Fire, Tornado, Avalanche, Or serious illness of family member

That was it. Amy and Ephram mocked it for hours after the doctor wrote it. They came up with tons of alternate situations that were not listed in which Ephram would have to walk. This was a good way to pass their time in the boring hospital and make Ephram forget about his pain. A smile spread across her face as she jumped up from the porch when Dr. Brown's car pulled into the driveway. She ran over and opened his door for him. "Why thank-you,"Ephram said throwing his legs over his seat out the side of the car. "Here,"Amy said as she offered him her arm to lean on her as they walked up to the house. They walked the stairs slowly to his room and when they reached the room Ephram could not fall onto the bed fast enough. Amy walked to the other side of the bed and laid next to him. "Doesn't it feel good to be home?"Amy asked. "Oh yeah,"Ephram said looking to Amy. "I got you a couple welcome home presents,"Amy said. "Oh you didn't have to do that unless they are made of lace and you can wear them then I'll gladly accept it,"Ephram said biting his lip in a playful way. Amy smacked him on the arm. "Your dirty mind always has to ruin the sentimental stuff. You're hanging around Bright way too much. . .I got you a fleece blanket with a piano on it that you are laying on, a walkie talkie to yell at whoever is downstairs to get you things to allow minimal movement, and this,"Amy said as she sat up and slowly leaned down to kiss his lips. He kissed her back soft and innocent. As this kiss ended she laid back down on the bed and he took her hand in his. "It is nice to be home,"Ephram said glancing back over to Amy. "Yeah well you get better and there is a lot more where that came from,"Amy said raising her eyebrows. "Oh I hope so. We're in definite need of some make up sex,"Ephram said with a little giggle. "Why don't you get better first perv boy. It's like I said there is a lot more where that came from,"Amy said.

The next day seemed like it lasted for a millennium. Andy had moved a t.v. into Ephram's room and a mini fridge next to his bed so he could have pop and snacks right there and wouldn't have to move. He snuggled underneath Amy's blanket and kept trying to find one comfortable position all day. He finally discovered laying on his stomach gave him the most comfort. This position did make him face his headboard and the opposite direction of the t.v. Once he got to this position he grunted at the realization the t.v. was not facing him, but just laid his head down and went to sleep, not wanting to disturb this good position.

Ephram was awoken in the afternoon by Bright running up the stairs to his room being as loud as someone could be. "Yo man. What's up?"Bright said entering Ephram's room. "Nothing is up,"Ephram said into his pillow still on his back. "Hey, I brought burritos if you want to turn over,"Bright said pulling a chair up. Ephram turned over and pulled himself up as he opened the sack containing the burrito. "Thank-you. This is awesome. I love Senora's Burritos,"Ephram said. "Well I brought this burrito to ask for some advice. So I thought it'd be a fair exchange. I'm having a problem,"Bright said. "Aren't you always,"Ephram said. "Hey . .Shut up,"Bright said. "Original. Think that up all by yourself or did you have help?"Ephram asked sarcastically. "Okay look this is serious. You know Hannah right,"Bright said and Ephram nodded, "Duh, idiot." Bright rolled his eyes, "Okay, well she like . .likes me." All Ephram could do was keep telling himself not to laugh really hard and then his mouth just dropped in utter awe of how clueless Bright was. "Wait, did you know?"Bright asked truly clueless. "Who didn't know. How she always flirts with you and the restaurant thing and her telling you that she likes you might of tipped me off,"Ephram said. "No, I know that she told me and all that. The problem is that it's been a pretty big amount of time and hell . . .that girl still likes me. See while you were in the hospital and Amy was up there all the time, she told me to hang with Hannah. Now that's not a big deal because on the whole, she's pretty cool. I start hangin out with her and she kissed me. Pretty much out of the blue,"Bright said. "Whoa. You're talkin about shy Hannah who is weak at the knees around you just coming up and kissing you somehow I just don't find that realistic. I wonder why? What did you do to make her kiss you? Or wait, Did you kiss her back?"Ephram asked. "I didn't do anything but tell her I enjoy hanging out with her,"Bright said taking a huge bite of his burrito. "That's sounds like you're saying you dig her. You still didn't answer my question. Did you kiss her back?"Ephram asked. "I may have kissed her back a little,"Bright said. "You know what, I think you like her but you just don't want to like her because she's not one of those sluts that you usually date. Really, what's wrong with being with Hannah?"Ephram asked as her wiped some cheese from his lip. "Nothing is wrong with her. We just wouldn't have that spark that you and Amy have you know. I guess I'll just have to avoid her. Now that you and Amy are back you can babysit her,"Bright said. "We don't babysit her,"Ephram said. "Whatever. I gotta split. I'll talk to ya later. Feel better man. I'm glad you're home,"Bright said and just as he turned around fate came back to bite him in the ass.

Hannah and Amy walked into Ephram's room. "Oh hi Bright,"Hannah said in a low voice looking at the floor. She clearly seemed embarrassed and uncomfortable. "Well I was just leaving I'll see you guys later,"Bright said as he stepped around his sister to leave. "What's up with him?"Amy asked Ephram. "Oh you know Bright. He's always acting weird,"Ephram said making eye contact with Hannah. "Guess what we brought,"Amy said. "You're homework,"Hannah said slapping a big bag full of stuff on his bed. "Now you are so lucky you're my boyfriend because I'm just so . .good. I went up to all your teachers in the process of getting all your homework and told them basically you were on your death bed and it would be a miracle if you got back to school within the month,"Amy said. "Oh you should of seen her go. It was amazing. She's my hero,"Hannah said smiling. "Why thank-you. They all felt so bad for you that they excused you from all the tests that you have missed and will miss in the future. Also, I got your homework load reduced significantly. You only have to do about half the stuff in that bag,"Amy said proud of herself. "You really are awesome. You're my new favorite person,"Ephram said. "Well Hannah and I got to get going. We're going on a weekend shopping trip. We'll be back Sunday and I'll come over,"Amy said. "Okay you guys have fun,"Ephram said. "Hannah I'll meet you in the car,"Amy said silently hinting for Hannah to the leave the room which she did. "I want you to feel better mister,"Amy said sitting down on the bed facing him. "Okay, I will. I feel better already,"Ephram said. "Good, I'll call you from Denver and if you need anything call me. If anything happens okay,"Amy said taking both of his hands in hers. She leaned and kissed him quick and clean. "Bye,"Ephram said. "Missing you already,"Amy said getting up and leaving his room.


	11. Road Trip Chat

Notes: This is Hannah and Amy's road trip.

Amy and Hannah were driving on the road listening to Al Green's 'Let's Stay Together'. "You wanna hear something funny,"Amy said looking from the road over to Hannah in her passenger seat. "I can still remember when Ephram first came here and I was basically using him to get to his dad, at first anyway. I took him up and on this hill that was facing the mountain right next to our school. We talked about his mom and things like that and then out of the blue he asked me if I ever listened to Al Green. . . .I had never heard of Al Green and that's why I remembered it. When we had our first time, that moment just flashed into my mind. I asked him why he had asked me if I listened to Al Green and he was half asleep so I don't even know if he knew that he was telling me, but he said because he had a dream the night after he met me that we were slow dancing in the library and suddenly the lights dimmed and I said that the perfect make out song was Al Green,"Amy paused because they were both laughing, "And get this . .oh it gets better. I supposedly said the song . . .speaks to a girls inner desire . .to be ravaged and he said I used that word. Ravaged. He said he went for it. I was rolling around laughing which woke him up and once he realized that he told me that he turned five shades . . .not four, five shades of a reddish purple. The next time we uh . .you know . .I bought an Al Green cd and when turned it on you should of seen his face. He was so embarrassed. 'I'm ready to be ravaged now,"Amy said laughing. "What did he say,"Hannah said at the point where she had laughed so much that her sides hurt. "He said, 'Well I can only be ravaged around a setting with a bunch of books so I'm sorry', and of course there was no more else to be said if you know what I mean,"Amy said blushing a little bit. "Oh I know. I mean I don't know, but I get your point,"Hannah said giggling.

"I need to tell you something,"Hannah said. "Okay. You know you can tell me anything,"Amy said in a more serious tone. "I kinda . . .kissed your brother,"Hannah said quickly. "What . .why?"Amy exclaimed. "Because I don't know . . .it just happened. He was talking about how he liked spending time with me and I was a really cool girl and I just went for it. I think it made him really uh . . . uncomfortable. Now, he's keeping his distance. Which means in the end, I'm still not good enough or cute enough,"Hannah said looking to her lap. "Hannah you are good enough. My brother is a jerk and he is not the one for you. He looks for girls that will easily cross boundaries that you are strong enough to not need to give in to. I get that you have a major infatuation with my brother, but you need a guy that respects you. Even if he were to change his views on what type of girl he wants, your relationship has bad news bears written all over it. Hannah, sweetie, that infatuation could make you go to those places that you really don't want to go. When you really have the 'hots' for someone and it's superficial like that, it can blind you and make you do things to keep them. I'm begging you. Let him go and find yourself a nice guy,"Amy said. "I'll try but, should I apologize to him or what. I go to your house all the time and I don't want it to be weird,"Hannah said. "I can't believe I'm saying this. You just need to talk to him and tell him it was a mistake and you were feeling lonely or something and he'll brush it off and it'll all be fine again,"Amy said as she switched lanes on the highway.

"Okay now let's change the subject from my idiot brother and talk about something more fun, like secrets or something,"Amy said. "What kind of secrets?"Hannah asked worried. "I don't know stuff that you keep to yourself. Kinda like dreams or embarrassing moments. Come on it'll be fun. I'll go first. . . .Oh I know. Last month I thought I was pregnant,"Amy said laughing but this comment did not make Hannah laugh. "You what. Do you . . Are you?"was the only comment Hannah could muster. "Oh no, thank god. See I was late by a week. I never told Ephram. I took one of those tests. It took me an hour to get courage to get one but I did and it turned up negative,"Amy said. "Thank god. You gave me a heart attack. Would you have told Ephram if you were?"Hannah asked. "Eventually, of course,"Amy said. "What do you mean eventually?"Hannah asked confused at Amy's reply. "I mean that I love Ephram and he has worked hard this year. I would never be reckless with his future. If I was then I would at least wait until he was in Juliard and then we could go from there. It's not that I wouldn't want to tell him or even that I wouldn't tell him but Ephram comes first to me. The people I couldn't tell would be my parents. I'd break my father's heart for good. I don't have to worry about it though. Everybody who's active usually gets a scare now and then. It definitely made me think more about the subject though. Could you see Ephram as a father now?Amy asked. "Actually I can. I think he would be a great dad. Sometimes great fathers can be children correcting their parents mistakes,"Hannah replied. "Do you want to have kids?"Hannah asked. "Oh definitely. I want a boy and a girl, but mostly a girl. I want to wait until I have a career and married before I start any of that though. I have my whole life to raise kids and you're only in your prime once you know,"Amy said. "Yeah. Have you thought about getting married to Ephram?"Hannah asked looking at Amy with a sly smile. " . . .I don't know. I guess,"Amy said blushing. "Come on Amy, it's me, your best friend,"Hannah said. "I know I want to marry him. I mean we have our fights and our disagreements and he does do stupid stuff but I've never known a guy sweeter than him. He makes me feel loved all the time and bubbly on the inside. Plus, we have these little fights about stupid stuff and we can be honest with each other and then comes the making up part. He's so talented and passionate. I know I could never love anyone . . .like I love him. I have dreamed about having kids with him once. He was at my bedside, holding my hand and telling me he loved me so much and that our baby was beautiful as we held her. I would never rush into it though,"Amy commented. "If when we go home he were to propose, would you say yes?"Hannah said eager to hear her reply. When Amy didn't answer her bigger than life question the silence answered for her. "You would wouldn't you?"Hannah said laughing. "I don't think I could say no. Plus, if I did and said it was too soon he'd probably think I didn't love him,"Amy said. "I guess,"Hannah said. "Think of how my dad would react. He would probably faint,"Amy laughed picturing that scenairo.

"Now my turn to ask you a million questions,"Amy said. "My life really isn't as interesting as yours really,"Hannah said. "What are your parents like?"Amy asked. "Um . . .What can I say? Their one of a kind. They've been waiting to travel the world since I was born and they finally got their chance and bolted leaving me . .behind. They didn't even discuss it with me. They just said hey your moving to Nina's house,"Hannah said. "You must miss them a lot,"Amy said. "Yeah, I guess. In a way they did me a huge favor. If I didn't move here I would have never gotten a best friend and I'd still be wearing that beret,"Hannah said. Amy just looked over and smiled. "Well our next mission is to find you a hot guy to fall in love with that is not my brother and a much better person,"Amy said. "Yeah, okay . . . but can we find like his twin or something?"Hannah asked. Amy just looked at her and rolled her eyes.


	12. PromisesI Feel Fine

Notes: This chapter takes place about three weeks after the last chapter. I'm really sorry for the delay. I get really caught up with my own stuff in the summer and completely forget to post. Major Ephramy here! I hope you enjoy!

"So your cleared for movement then right?"Amy asked as Ephram shut his bedroom door. "Uh huh,"Ephram replied walking over and closing his blinds. "What are you doing?"Amy asked with a curious smile. "I'm holding you to your promise,"Ephram said raising his eyebrows and walking over to the side of the bed she was standing by. "Are you sure this won't hurt you?"Amy asked wanting to be careful. "Oh, I'm positive,"Ephram said with a smirk. "You wouldn't be . . . . lying to me, would you?" Amy asked putting her hands on his sides. "Never. . .I missed being with you while I was bedridden,"Ephram said unbuckling her belt. "Did you miss hanging out with me or 'being with me'?"Amy asked untying his pajama pants slowly waiting for his answer. "I think you know the answer to that . . .you were hanging out with me all the time so I didn't have time to miss that,"Ephram said with a chuckle. Amy smacked him. "Ooh I'm feeling better but I'm not really up for rough sex,"Ephram said. "What's in that medication they gave you?"Amy asked. "This is definitely not the medication,"Ephram said leaning in and kissing her. He slowly slipped his tongue in her mouth as he slowly pulled her belt out of her pants and dropped it on the floor. Amy pulled back and slipped his t-shirt over his head and laughed when his head got stuck in the hole. Their playfulness was something that always made her feel great. Then he slipped her shirt over her head leaving her in her bra. Amy laid back on the bed and he climbed on top of her. "I love you,"Ephram said trailing kisses down her neck. "I love you too,"Amy said leaning up and kissing him as she ran her hands over his back as they continued their act of love.

The two laid in Ephram's bed, cuddling. Amy snuggled her face into his chest. "That was amazing,"Amy said. "Yeah it was,"Ephram said stroking her hair. "When are you coming back to school?"Amy asked. "Monday, but I won't be allowed to participate in gym. I don't know what I'll do,"Ephram said. "Good 'cause I miss you during the day,"Amy said. "Tomorrow I'm not going to be around most of the time,"Ephram said. "Why?"Amy asked looking up at him. "Going to the hospital for a check up. It's all very routine,"He said. "You have to go to the hospital on Saturday. That bites,"Amy said. "Well I'll just be glad when it's all over and I'm finally in the clear,"Ephram said. "When is your dad going back to work?"Amy asked. "Monday why?"Ephram asked. "Because this is way to risky to do this while he's here all the time. What if he came to the door and told you to come to the door what would we do?"Amy asked. "Pretend like we're not here,"Ephram said. "Wouldn't the locked door give it away?"Amy asked. "Maybe for a regular parent, but not Andy Brown. I bet you he'd think it was broken or something. . . . So do ya want to do something to celebrate my cure tomorrow by going on a date when I get back?"Ephram asked as he traced letters on her bare back. "I wouldn't miss it,"Amy said.

The next day, Ephram and Andy went to the hospital to get blood tests and a chest x-ray for Ephram. The process itself didn't take very long, but the wait turned out to last hours. When the doctor finally came out Ephram was relieved because he didn't have to take any more quizzes in girl magazines that tell what type of guy was his type for a summer love. They went to his office and he asked them to have a seat. "Everything is fine still, right doctor?"Andy asked. The doctor took off his coat and sat down. "Actually, no, it's not. Something showed up on your tests. It didn't show up before or at least nobody saw it,"The doctor said. "What are we talking about here?"Ephram asked moving forward in his seat. "Cancer,"the doctor replied. Ephram froze. This could not be happening. He thought he was in the clear. "Are you sure?"Andy choked out. "Your blood has a high level of white blood cells which means its trying to fight the disease and the x-ray are pretty accurate. These spots can't just be a malfunction even though I wish it was. The cancer is why you contracted a worse case of pneumonia,"the doctor said. Ephram put his head in his hands. He felt like he just got punched really hard. He sat up quickly, "So what do we do? How do I fight it?" The doctor pulled out a packet. "To fight lung cancer we can do chemotherapy and also radiation to give it everything we got. The side effects are pretty tough, but when you survive and life goes back to normal somewhat it'll all be worth it. I do encourage you to take a list of the specialists on the back of that packet and get a second opinion, but I want to stress that we need to schedule you for treatments as soon as possible,"the doctor said. "We'll do that thank-you,"Andy said standing up to leave and Ephram followed him. "Ephram we'll beat this,"Andy said. "Yeah,"Ephram said getting into the car. They were blind sighted. No other way to put it. Neither knew what to say or do, but they had one thing in common at that moment. They were scared to death.

Ephram walked into to his studio to see Amy laying on the couch asleep, all dressed to go to dinner. He walked over and kissed her on the cheek and sat back on his bench and watched her wake up. "Hey. Did you just get back?"Amy asked. "Yeah, I was going to change, but I need to talk to you first,"Ephram said as he took a piece of her hair and placed it behind her ear. "You know I want you to tell me everything. We don't have to go out if that's what you're worried about. I figured you'd be tired. Just come lay by me. It's the perfect date,"Amy said making room for him on the couch. Ephram laid down against the back of the couch and him and Amy were facing each other. They got close together as if they were hugging, but horizontally and Amy rested her head on his chest. They both closed their eyes and engulfed themselves in the wonderful silence. "I love you Amy,"Ephram whispered. "Hmmm . . .I love you too,"Amy whispered back with her eyes remaining closed. "I have something kinda big to tell you,"Ephram said. "I'm all ears,"Amy said.


	13. A Sickening Lie

"What is it?"Amy asked " . . . . . . . .I won't be at school on Monday,"Ephram said. "Why not?"Amy asked pulling back a little. "The doctor said that he doesn't want me exposed to any more infections. It's not serious it's just he wants to be sure I don't get nothing else,"Ephram lied before he even had time to think about. "Oh. Okay. I don't want you sick again. I guess I'll just have to wait a little longer. It's not like I'm not going to be obsessive and come hang with you everyday anyway. I mean that's still okay right?"Amy asked totally clueless about the real reason Ephram couldn't go to school Monday. Tuesday was his first treatment. "Of course it's okay. You don't have any diseases,"Ephram joked. Amy kissed him on his cheek. "Aren't you excited that your almost completely cured?"Amy asked him. "I just want to be happy and be with you,"Ephram told her running his hand over her cheek.

In the living room of the Brown's house . . . . . . . . .

Andy picked up the phone and dialed the Abbott's home number.

Harold: Hello.

Andy: Harold it's me.

Harold: How was Ephram's appointment?

Andy: Not good. Not good at all.

Harold: What do you mean? . . . .Andy?

Andy: (sniffling noise)

Harold: Andy?

Andy: Cancer.

Harold: Oh my God. I'm so sorry.

Andy: Thanks Harold. I just . . uh wanted you to know. Ephram's with Amy right now so I assume he's telling her.

Harold: Is it treatable?

Andy: As far as we know. It's lung cancer though. More serious of course.

Harold: Well I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

Andy: Thanks, but I'm going to go to bed and think up a way to tell Delia without scaring

her.

Harold: Alright. I'll see you tomorrow.

Andy: See ya tomorrow.

CLICK

This dream was becoming a reality. Andy walked upstairs, pausing to look into Delia's room for a moment. That little girl adored her brother and Andy for a moment considered lying to her as well and making Ephram's illness sound like the flu or something. Then, in that moment Ephram realized what a villain he had become. He that of lying every time something become hard. He knew that he had stop turning back in time and accept the person he wanted to be and face telling her the hard things because he couldn't risk losing her like he risked Ephram so many times.

Harold sat in the dark in his living room waiting for his daughter to arrive home, expecting her to be broken into pieces by hearing the news of Ephram's illness. The door opening cracked the silence and startled him. She turned on the light by the door and he turned on the lamp in the living room so that she would see him. "Oh, dad. You scared me,"Amy said. Harold walked over and hugged her. Amy smiled and just patted him on the back. "Everything okay?"Amy asked confused at her dad hugging her out of the blue. "Is everything okay. You don't have to hide it. You can talk to me. Andy called me and filled me in,"He pause because a weird expression covered his daughters face. "What did Andy fill you in on? I have no idea what you're talking about? What's going on?"Amy asked impatiently. "I . .uh I'm so sorry I that you would've known,"Harold apologized. "Known what dad?"Amy asked. "I'm not the one that should tell you. He probably was going to tell you. He's probably still dealing with it. I think you need to talk to Ephram,"Harold said waiting for a response. After a minute Amy just nodded her head and turned to the door. As she was shutting the door she said, "Don't wait up."

Amy knew she couldn't wake up the whole house by knocking so she used her key to the garage and got in through that way. She was very quiet as she walked up the stairs and didn't even bother to knock she just walked straight in Ephram's room. When she squinted she could see him listening to his iPod in the dark, in his pajama pants, shirtless, and wide awake. "Ephram,"she whispered. He kind of jumped because he was startled. "Amy . . wha . . .what are you doing here? How did you get in here?"Ephram asked startled. "My dad thought that I knew something when I came home. He didn't mean to say anything, but he thought I knew something . . . .bad about you. That's what I gathered from the little bit he said you know. After he saw my surprise to his comments he said he messed up and that I should direct that question elsewhere. You can only imagine the feeling that my dad knows something my boyfriend should've already told me according to him. What's he talking about Ephram?"Amy said still close to the door. "Come over here,"Ephram said gesturing in the dark. "I might need to stay close to the exit in case I need to run,"Amy said. Ephram shook his head and patted the bed and because Amy's desire to know the truth outweighed her common sense, she sat down next to him. He took her hand and paused a moment before talking. This scene was all to familiar. He had seen it in movies and on t.v. Plus, they had just gotten through all the drama. Wrong.

To Be continued . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


	14. An Unhealthy Truth

Part 14

Notes: I know I haven't posted in awhile so go back and read chap 14 to catch up where we are if you need to because this picks up right where 13 left off. This is probably my best chapter out of anything I've written possibly. I'm proud of the emotion and if it doesn't jump off the page then I'm proud of the idea.

"Tell me please. I'm have a million different scenarios running in my mind and I need to know whatever it is,"Amy babbled in a low tone with one of the most serious faces he had seen. "I was going to tell you earlier, but . . . I uh . . . you were happy and that made me feel better and I knew . . .that uh . . .would change once um . . .you hear and plus I uh didn't want you to have to deal with anything like this until you had to. I mean you've been through so much already and I want you to be . .,"Ephram paused and his lip quivered as if he were about to cry, " . .happy . . . More than anything." Amy noticed him on the verge of tears. "Ephram . . . your scaring me,"she said in that same low voice. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm still a lot in shock . . . uh I wanted to be more adjusted when I told you. I should be stronger when I tell you this,"he closed his eyes and rubbed his neck and then looked back to meet her eye, "I . . um . . .I'm just going to say it . . I have lung cancer." Amy's shaking hand covered her mouth and immediately a tear escaped her eye. The hand that was still attached to Ephram's was shaking as well.

"My doctor said that's how I contracted the illness and it that's why it was so severe. . . . My first treatment is on Tuesday. They say the faster the better right. I'm sorry I didn't say anything . . .I just uh . . .I care about you . . .more than myself . . and I know I'm being negative at the moment because it just is hitting me and I'm scared, but I don't want . . . to miss out being with you. Things that I looked forward to. I'm scared . . .tha . .that I'm going to be a fricken demographic or a statistic. . . .This is why I won't be in school for awhile,"Ephram finished. Amy sat there in a daze. It seemed like they all had a big X on the backs that just made them all a target to torture.

Ephram somehow knew she couldn't form any words at that particular moment because he had the same feeling and he just reached out and pulled her close to his chest and hugged her. She wrapped her arms around his back and the only thoughts that came to her mind were, 'Oh my God. What if he dies? What if he can never hold me like this again? I can't loose him.' He let her cry into his chest for a few minutes and then she pulled back wiping her face, trying calm herself down. She cleared her throat.

"So um what now? We can a . .we can fix this right?"Amy asked sniffling. Ephram paused and then put a forced smile on his face. "Yeah, we can fix it,"Ephram hoped he wasn't lying. "Okay. We will fix this,"Amy said really soft, "Well it's um . .um it's really late I guess." Ephram didn't want to her to leave. "Stay. We can talk more in the morning. Or not at all if you want,"Ephram said rather seriously. Amy just nodded. Ephram slid her jacket off her arms and set it on the chair. He sat back down and wiped her tear-stained face gently and kissed her gently on the cheek during which Amy closed her eyes and convinced herself not to cry again. Ephram laid back and got under the covers and lifted them up for her to get under. She got under and snuggled up to his chest. Ephram fell asleep fairly soon, but Amy watched him for at least an hour before her eyes started burning and she was forced to close her eyes.

This moment was one of those life moments when you feel like you've left your body and you're watching your life play on a giant movie screen and you're in the front row waiting to see what happens next, with plenty of tissues on hand just in case. The only exception for this particular moment was that Amy left that room and the present time, and on that movie screen she began to see the worst happening.

She saw herself holding Ephram's hand in the hospital. He was bald, weak, and suffering and then the camera went to a close up of Amy letting silent tears fall down her face as she sat by his bed day after day as she just watched his lifeless looking body. Then, the screen went black and it switched to a new scene. This time Ephram was in bed and his eyes were barely open and there was a line of people. First, Dr. Brown walked to his bedside kissed him on the forehead and said some comforting words like,'Everything will be okay' and 'I'll see you when you wake up'. Dr. Brown's eyes were red from crying and looked as if he hadn't slept in days. From the dialogue she could tell it was surgery. Then, Delia got on Ephram's bed and hugged him tight and she could see her crying and it broke Amy's heart. The thing that stuck out was that Ephram could barely raise his arm to put around his sister. Then, came Bright who looked as if he was forcing himself to smile and keep the mood pleasant. He came up and took Ephram's hand and said a few words including an "I love you man" and left. Next, was Nina who kissed him on the cheek and told him he was strong and we'd all be here when he woke up and left. The last person in the room was Amy. She was always last she thought to herself. First and last always.

She looked up from the floor and met Ephram's tired eyes, she saw a little spark flash. She was slowly walking to his bed, wiping her tears. This part started in slow motion and a really sad song came on. A cliche. She ran a hand over his hairless head and ran it across his face. "So I'll see you later?"Ephram said as more of a reassurance than a question. "Definitely,"Amy assured him and herself. Ephram shakily reached up and wiped a tear sliding down Amy's face. "No tears okay sweetie,"he whispered. She nodded. "I'll always be with you Amy. You completed me the day you became my wife,"Ephram said as he took her hand which exposed a diamond ring on her ring finger. As she watched this she gasped. They were married. Then, the camera did a close up on Ephram and one single tear could be seen rolling down his face. Amy slowly leaned down on him and hugged him because he couldn't sit up. Ephram's arm just patted her softly on the back. "Ephram you complete me. You're my soulmate. Ephram you have to come back. Please,"Amy begged. "I'm pregnant. You're going to be a father,"she whispered into his ear. "Really?"he asked as she pulled back. She nodded with a small smile. "I'm the luckiest man ever,"he said softly looking into her eyes. Amy closed her eyes tightly as she kissed him softly on the lips and as she watched herself pulling away from his lips, she noticed that there was a moment there when there something in his eyes that looked like he was looking at her for the last time. Memorizing all her features. A light piano solo fittingly ended the scene as Amy stood up kissed his forehead and as Amy reached the door she was stopped. She turned and glanced back at him. "I love you,"Ephram told her. She paused on the screen and the piano ended. "I love you too. I'll always love you for better or worse,"she said and the screen went black.

After a moment, a dark picture faded in and she noticed it was raining. Another cliche. She saw everyone in Everwood in black, Dr. Brown and Delia in the front next to Ephram's grandparents, and then her and her family in black. She gasped when she saw the black casket that they were gathering around and a picture of Ephram under the tent. There was no hole in the ground and as Amy suspected it was because he would be buried with his mother. Even as she was watching this disturbing footage from a theatre in her own mind . . Amy was raining tears. The people started filing out and laying flowers on the casket. Amy laid a single white rose on the casket and walked in the opposite direction of her family. She saw them calling after her, yet she never even turned around. When she was clear of the cemetery she stopped by a tree and slid down it.

Then, she saw Ephram walking towards herself down the hill. A smile of relief came to Amy's face on the screen. "I knew you wouldn't leave me,"Amy said as he sat down next to her. "I'm going to have to leave sweetheart, but I'll always be with you. I want you to be happy. . .In your heart when another guy sees exactly what I see in you, think of me and then think of yourself and what's best for you. . . You know what I'll let you in on a secret. I was hoping you'd get pregnant," Ephram said smiling and taking her hand. "You'll be a great mother and I'll be watching them grow up. I'm so sad that I have to miss it all, but I'll be there when the baby's born and when all the wonderful things happen,"Ephram said looking into her eyes.

"Why did you have to die?"Amy said crying. "I don't know Amy. The way I'm going to look at it is that the only pain I'll feel from now on is not being able to touch you and be here in person for everything. I hate that I can hold your hand while the baby's born. I want you to know though that I'll watch out for you always and 80 years or so down the road, I'll be waiting for you. Keep me in your heart and you can come to me when you need me. You may not see me, but I'm there,"Ephram said as he stood. "I know this is hard, but it's time for me to go. I love you more than myself. Goodbye,"Ephram said as he started to disappeared.

She started crying hysterically holding the necklace Ephram gave her and shouting 'Why'. Then, she screamed, "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FOREVER. . . .You were supposed to be my forever," Then it all went black.

As everything faded in, Amy saw Ephram sitting over her, "Amy? Amy?" He then came into focus and she realized that she had really been crying in her dream. She flung her arms around him. "You're here,"she said in a sigh of relief. "Bad dream?"Ephram asked. "Yeah, how could you tell?"Amy asked being sarcastic. "Well . . .you didn't snore so I thought that was a little irregular,"Ephram said breaking a smile. Amy rolled her eyes and smiled back, but immediately felt guilty and her facial expression quickly reflected it.

"It's okay. You can smile. It makes me feel better. . . Life . . will go on,"Ephram said wisely and very comfortable. "I see your more adjusted,"Amy remarked. "Well let me tell you what I dreamed about. Maybe it'll help you get rid of whatever you dreamed. . . . .I dreamed about . . . us getting through this. It wasn't easy, but at the end, I saw our wedding day . . . . .and ,"Ephram stopped a moment. Amy thought to herself, 'Did he just say married? Oh my God.'

"And what?"Amy asked deciding to let it go. "Our honeymoon,"Ephram said with an innocent smile. A smile that was much different from when he had recuperated and they were about to have make up sex for the first time since his illness. "Really. Where did we go?"Amy asked raising her eyebrows. "Let me tell ya,"Ephram said putting his arm around her. "Hawaii,"Ephram said with a smile. "Really that's a big step for you. I thought you didn't do the whole shirtless, beach, water thing,"Amy said. "Well I thought that at first, but we have our own beach and a condo type thing all to ourselves,"Ephram said. "Wow. That sounds fun. Seeing you swimming in the ocean will be totally worth the wait,"Amy joked. (Picture the screen fading out)


	15. And Now The Hard Times

CH 15- In This Together

Notes: It's been a while since I've posted on this story so new and old readers I hope you enjoy. I actually had started this story before got cancer which tells you all how long ago that was. It takes place about two months after the last chapter.

The vivid dream Amy had the night Ephram broke the news to her haunted her every time she looked at him from then on. Fear and dread ruled her dreams and thoughts in the little spare time she had. She hadn't told anyone, especially him. No matter how much she didn't want to put any stake into that nightmare, she couldn't help but think that could've very well been a look at their future. Day by day Ephram became the weak, nearly hairless version of himself she saw in that hospital bed. A few weeks back he reluctantly traded his brown shaggy hair for a buzz cut after the doctor told him hairless was just around the corner and if he didn't want to be pulling out hair, he'd cut it.

Amy tried to maintain a smile or a positive nature around him, but she was dying on the inside watching him suffer. She did whatever she could for him. She tried to take whatever weight she could from him and put it on her shoulders. On good days Ephram appeared more normal in spirit and in sarcasm although through bad days and good days his appetite decreased significantly and it was showing in his major weight loss.

Amy and Dr. Brown worked in shifts most days. After Amy found out she went to Dr. Brown and told him she'd be there every step of the way especially because Andy still had to take care of Delia and his practice. When he did eat, sometimes he didn't have energy to feed himself so either Andy or Amy did it. Some days, he would vomit himself to tears from throwing up for minutes at a time until his throat was raw. It was hard to watch, but when Amy was there she'd kneel with him and run her hand in circles over his back. He was tired most all the time and spent a lot of the days sleeping.

Amy saw herself grow up so much in the two month period. She was taking care of the man she loved who sometimes was dependent on her to survive. She couldn't help thinking now and then that were too young for this to be happening.

She held the bucket when he couldn't make it to the bathroom. She massaged him to try to take away the aching he had all over his body. Sometimes, on bad days, she had to bathe him.

The first time she had to do it, he got sick all over himself on accident and he looked like he was going to cry, but Amy came to the rescue of course and made him feel like it was no big deal. He wobbled leaning on her to the bathroom. As she undressed him it hit her that this would've been a new territory of foreplay to them if he wasn't sick. This was something they had never done. This would've been kind of a big deal if he wasn't sick. It didn't faze her that she was taking off Ephram's clothes like it should've in a normal situation. She was a woman whether she liked it or not and she was staring at a young man as she cleaned him who was she knew was her soul mate and that's all that mattered. A part of Amy resented whoever was responsible for making their relationship have to change so quickly, grow so quickly, and get plummeted with so much weight when they were so young.

This day was another bad day.

"Hey Amy," Dr. Brown said as he was cleaning up the table from the breakfast Delia and him just had.

"How's he doing today?" she asked.

"Um . . . not so well I think. That last treatment really hit him hard. Hopefully we won't have to have many more of these treatments. I don't know how much more he can take," Andy said stopping to connect with Amy's eyes while he shared this news.

"Well we should know if the treatments working soon enough right?" she asked.

"I'm going to Denver today to talk to a specialist who's looked at his case. If the treatment doesn't work, if he needs surgery or something I won't hesitate to privately fly us all to New York and do it there if they're better to help him. Don't worry I'm on top of it."

"I know you are Dr. Brown. I brought you a coffee. Two sugars as always," Amy said showing him the cup.

"Thank you. He's expecting you. Delia's at Nina's. Please . . if he's sleeping don't feel the need to clean up anything else. I know your tired and worn out. . . . We both are. Truly, I don't know what I'd do without you. This has been hard on all of us especially in Julia's absence ya know. . .Feel free to go in the guest room and sleep or do something relaxing, maybe something you haven't had time for lately. We've both been on overdrive with these treatments being so close together and them hitting him so hard, but hopefully the doctor will be telling me that this one will be the last one for awhile so we can see if they've done any good ya know and he should be feeling better. My specialty isn't lung cancer, but from what I know we've done everything right so far. My cell will be on if you need me. Try to take it easy okay," Andy said taking the coffee and leaving the house.

Amy looked around at the empty house. Not a peep to be heard. She quietly went up to Ephram's room and she peeked her head in the door. Just as Dr. Brown he was fast asleep. He looked at peace. Deciding she'd not risk waking him up, she decided to go into the guest bedroom down the hall and rest like Andy suggested.

Amy laid down on the bed and felt some relief to be off her feet. She climbed underneath the covers and slowly dozed off. When she woke up she felt something up against her. She opened her eyes and turned her head and she saw Ephram sleeping peacefully next to her. A slow smile came to her face.

"Hun what are you doing?" she asked curiously.

"Um . . . I'm cuddling with my girlfriend. What are you doing?" he said with his eyes remaining closed and drowsy tone.

"I thought you were asleep in your room. I hope I didn't wake you up?" she whispered to him concerned.

"Are you kidding me? I'd be mad if I had missed out on this. Plus, I was cold," he told her as he pulled her even closer. He kept his eyes closed.

"Why didn't you put on a shirt or a sweatshirt? I can go get you one," she offered as she commented on the fact that he was cold but had no shirt on.

"_Don't you dare_. I'm warm now. Plus, I figured since you've been so helpful lately that you wouldn't mind keeping me warm," he slyly remarked. He opened his eyes to meet hers after that last comment and conspicuous smile spread across his face.

"Ephram (_she chuckled as he used arm to turn her over so her body was facing his)_ . . . I haven't seen that smile in a long time. It's nice," she said softly as she put her arm around his back and rested her head a few inches from his.

"You're _so_ beautiful. You know every time I look at you I remember how this all started, the weirdo from New York falling in love with the prettiest girl in Everwood. It's so strange that we ended up here, together."

"I knew that we would be together someday especially the first time you played that song that you wrote me," she confessed, "I mean I had liked you but I knew that I could easily fall in love with you after you played that and when I started to notice how you looked me."

"So you admit I was weird then?" he commented.

"I didn't say that. I'd call it offbeat. That's what you were," she said spinning it nicely.

"You're so beautiful."

"You just said that," she reminded him.

"I know. I just can't seem to say it enough," he said glancing into her eyes.

He moved his face toward her and kissed her softly. Both of them absorbed the moment. The kiss was tender, yet passionate and Amy got lost in it until after a few minutes her head kicked in.

"Ephram (_she was breathing a little heavy_), were not supposed to be doing a lot of kissing soon after the chemo ya know with the bacteria and stuff."

"I feel fine and right now I feel like sharing something special with you okay. At least while I can," he told her as he caressed her cheek with his hand.

"Don't say that Ephram," Amy snapped at him slightly with face becoming a frown.

"Okay. I'm sorry. Doesn't this feel good though?" he asked.

"It feels amazing to be with you which is why we have to be careful and do what the doctor says," she replied.

"Let's forget the other stuff for awhile okay. You still . . . I mean . . . I don't know how to ask this. You still want me don't you? I mean I know you've had to take care of me and everything . . .," he began rambling like Ephram usually did when he was nervous.

Amy leaned forward slowly and kissed him to shut him up. She made it one of the deepest kisses they had had since he was diagnosed putting all his fears to rest. Getting to the point where they both needed air, Amy pulled back slowly and peered into his eyes. She brought her hand to his head and ran it slowly over his stubby hair. She kissed his forehead and brought her hand back to his side.

"Of course I want you. I love you so much ya know and even though you were weird when you came here you have this twinkle in your eye, kind of like Santa, which I find unbearably sexy. Taking care of you doesn't take that away. It's more like returning the favor for all the times you've taken care of me and all the times I know you'll take of me in the future. I just want to keep you safe. I'm in this for the long hall kid and I hope you are too. We face this together and when we get through this we'll face the next thing _together_. Understand this. . .I will 'want you' in everyway till the end and Ephram the end for us isn't _anywhere_ close."


	16. Graduation Morning

Love Means Holding Chap 16-

Notes: Well it's been quite awhile since I updated this story, but I'm hopeful I'll get some new readers now that it's been so long since I've updated. Read and enjoy the story so far. This takes place roughly a month or so after the last chapter. We're now to the beginning week of June.

Harold opened a door and slowly crept to her bed trying not to wake the sleeping Amy just quite yet. He opened his video camera and started recording and then switched the light on.

"This is Amy Abbott asleep on her graduation day," he said as commentary for the video.

"Dad what's going on? Turn the light off," Amy said into her pillow. She hadn't seen the video camera yet.

"Amy, come on tell the camera how it feels to be a high school graduate," Harold told her just brimming with pride.

Amy's head whipped around at the mention of a camera.

"DAD!" she shrieked pulling the covers over head. "Turn that off. I haven't even showered yet or combed my hair or anything. Get out of here!"

When Amy came down for breakfast, Harold had decorated the kitchen with congratulations graduate banners, plates, napkins, and even had a paper hat for her to wear.

"Wow dad! Did you sleep last night?" Amy remarked.

"Of course I did. I did all this morning. It didn't take that long. I just wanted to show you I'm so proud of you. After everything that's gone on these past few years, you still hung in there and have graduated with a good G.P.A. and your pick of some great colleges to attend this fall. I'm so excited to see you walk across that stage this afternoon sweetheart," he said sweetly.

"Yeah well it's so you know not that big of a deal," Amy replied.

"Not that big a . . . Honey, I don't mean to sound like well a dad but you know you can be happy today. If you're feeling guilty at all 'cause Ephram isn't going, you don't need to be. It's your day. Plus, on that front he's feeling better and in no time you two will be able to move on with your lives and start fresh, with this whole cancer thing behind you."

"Sorry to be a cynic dad but I'm starting to think this will never be behind us ya know," Amy confessed.

"It is probably a true statement that you will remember this time and its difficulty for the rest of your life, but one day you'll look back on it and see how you stuck together. This is merely an obstacle Amy. Everybody has to face a big one sometime. It's still gonna be a tough road, but you can't give up now. It's like a cross country journey and you've just blown a flat. You're not going to just give up and go home are you?" Harold advised her.

"Can I tell you something dad?" she asked.

"Of course sweetheart what is it?"

"I've had this dream a few times. . . It's a really vivid dream. In it I always see Ephram basically on his death bed at the beginning but all of us, who are in the dream, don't know that yet. He's being sent into surgery and we're all hoping for a miracle just like Colin. In the dream everyone says that 'it'll all be okay' speech which turns out to be the last goodbye to him, but yet again we don't know that yet. I'm last to say goodbye. Ephram and I, we look maybe a year or two older than we do now. We're married dad. The way he looks at me . . . in that moment is … the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life. It's very loving and soft, but I can tell that he's looking at me for the last time and he _knows_ it. I tell him . . . a secret. Something I just found out," Amy paused as if she couldn't get it out.

"What's the secret?" Harold inquired.

" . . . I'm pregnant (_her voice gets higher on the last word_) and it makes him so happy and we have a great happy moment like it should be. Then, you know he goes to surgery and everything, and then it cuts to his funeral and he always talks to me one last time as a ghost or something and says things like I'll be with you always and through the pregnancy and then that's it. I'm alone. I can't shake this feeling that this is what's going to happen . . . again. I can't shake this feeling that I saw our future and now I have to wait for it to all come about," Amy admitted.

"Oh Amy, honey, that's just a dream. You're scared about Ephram's health and that might be what's bringing on these dreams. Your worst fears come true because it's a nightmare. You've lived through something like this before, but Ephram is not Colin . . . and this won't turn out like that did. You and Ephram are getting to the point, in a few years, where you're going to start making life decisions together if that's what you want and right now it seems that everything you planned is going wrong right? Well, this is just your fears manifesting themselves in your dreams. You can't live dreading something you don't know will happen."

"Dad these dreams, they seem so real."

"I know it's hard to have faith when things like this happen. I have struggled with understanding it all myself, but honey if you spend all this time worrying and dreading a hypothetical situation your going to miss it all. You're going to miss out on time with Ephram. Positive is the only thing we can be at this point and get him through this . . . Plus, if dreams were always real then why didn't you get attacked by a big yellow bird with a strong resemblance to a 'Sesame Street' character when you were little?" Harold asked holding back a smile.

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't talk about that ever again," Amy said.

"Okay, but still you understand what I'm saying right?"

"Yeah dad . . . thanks. I gotta get going I guess. I'll drop by the Browns right quick and get back here and get dressed. I'll see you in a bit," Amy said getting up and kissing her dad on the cheek before exiting the room.

"My little Amy's grown-up," Harold said to himself with a sigh.

Amy stopped by the Brown's house and entered to find no Delia and no Dr. Brown, but she heard an all too familiar sound coming from the garage area.

The door was open and Amy peaked her head to find Ephram playing a slow song on the piano.

"Hey there, that sounds good," Amy said walking over and kissing him on the cheek.

"Yeah, it sounds okay. I felt like playing today. I feel good today. Not weak or anything," Ephram told her.

"That's nice to hear," Amy said sitting next to him on the piano bench.

"What do you say we go to a graduation?" he asked her.

"No way (_Amy shrieked_). . . That would be perfect. You really feel like you can do this?" Amy asked.

"I wouldn't miss it."

Amy took his face in her hands and started planted kisses all over his face.

"You're not excited about this at all are you?" Ephram said sarcastically.

A bright smile appeared on her face. They leaned in for a kiss and when they pulled back Amy just wrapped her arms around his smaller frame.

"I love you so much Ephram," Amy said with her head resting on his shoulder still holding onto him very tightly.

"I think love is even an understatement for how I feel about you," he replied.

"That's very sexy but an 'I love you too' would've worked you know?" she told him.

"I love you too Amy," Ephram whispered into her ear.


	17. Life Stops When We Suffer

Chapter 17

Notes: It has been years since I updated this story. There has been a great response and fan following to this day so I will finish it this summer. Thanks to everyone who has enjoyed it and continued to desire an outcome. I apologize for the extraordinarily long delay, but your loyalty has brought me out of hiding to finish what I started. This story picks up six months after graduation.

There was a soft snoring sound coming from the living room of the Brown's residence. A young woman who vaguely resembled Amy Abbott, one of County's latest graduates, laid there cherishing a few stolen moments of rest. Her face appeared more sunken and pale with each day. Amy's hair had been cut just below her face for convenience. Everything was about convenience in the lives of the people surrounding Ephram Brown these days. The specialist informed them last week that the cancer had spread and another surgery would be necessary. Also, more intense chemo would be needed if he survived the surgery.

Upon hearing those words, Amy feared that they were facing insurmountable odds. Ephram barely survived the last batch of chemo. He had grown weaker and frailer in the last month than ever before. She didn't think he would survive anything, but a quick victory in this long battle. His spirits remained strong even after the despairing news from the doctor was delivered, but it was clear to Amy that hope was all he had to cling to.

Amy sat up suddenly on the couch. Silence was the loudest sound in the Brown house. She couldn't hear Ephram breathing anymore upstairs. She had trained herself to know when Ephram's congested breathing stopped at all times. It was like an alarm clock in her head. She paused a second to make sure she couldn't hear it anymore. When a few seconds had passed, she sprinted up the stairs and into Ephram's room.

Ephram was laying down flat trying, with difficulty, to drink some water. The water was spilling everywhere and he was choking a bit with every drink because of his position.

"Why didn't you call me? You are going to choke to death on that water," Amy said annoyed as she took the cup out of his hands.

"I don't want you to be my maid anymore. Look at you. You are dead tired and I feel like you are my slave now or something. I don't want you to be at my beckon call. I'm a grown up. I wanted the water. The water is on my bedside table and I was going to get it myself!" Ephram replied stubbornly.

"Well you did a great a job didn't you? You know what that is the most pig-headed thing you've said yet," she said placing her arms around him, as if to hug him, and pulled him up to a sitting position.

"Did you just call me pig-headed?"

"Yep. You're sick and you're weak. That is why I'm here. Not to babysit you. Not to be your personal slave girl, but to help you because I care. I would rather we prolong your exist by me climbing a few stairs rather than you choking to death on your water. When you say stupid things like that, you demean my purpose in your life. You demean our relationship. I thought we were partners and family by now. Here I thought that if the role was reversed you would do the same for me, but maybe I was wrong. Now I know that you would view it as slavery," she remarked as she handed him the cup of water back.

"You're right… I'm sorry. If I haven't said it lately I will say it again. I'd be lost or dead by choking on my water if it wasn't for you," Ephram said softly looking into her eyes.

"It's fine. You scared the crap out of me. I thought you had stopped breathing or something when I couldn't hear you downstairs. You need to take your pain pill anyways. Here," she said handing it to him.

"Why don't you sit with me for awhile?" he asked.

"Because you need to go back to sleep after you down that pill and some water. You need a ton of rest before everything coming up. It'll be really important in winning this," Amy told him.

"You know what I think is important?" he asked.

"What Ephram?"

"I think it is important that we are together. The focus of this relationship has been you taking care of me and if this is the only time we have left together, I don't want it to end like this," Ephram said patting the bed to gesture for her to sit.

"You make me so angry when you talk like that. It's like you are giving up and I refuse to let you," she said still hovering over him.

"I'm not giving up. There is way too much to live for. I will fight until I take my last breath, for you. I promise you that I'm not raising the white flag anytime soon. What this has made me aware of is that life is unpredictable. I may fight and I may lose. I'll be angry about that, but it may be out of my control. We both have to prepare for that. With the surgery and another round of chemo planned, the odds are not going in favor Grover. I will die trying to get a full life of happy memories with you, but if it isn't in the cards I don't want to miss a moment by not living. I won't apologize to you for that. You know we haven't acted like the young couple we are since graduation. At least for an hour, can we pretend that I'm not a stubborn cancer patient and you aren't my grumpy nurse? Can we just be Ephram and Amy?"

"I don't know. It's hard to pretend anymore. Everything that is happening is very real," she admitted.

"Try for me. Come sit next to me. You don't want to miss out on time together do you?"

"No, of course not," she said giving in.

She walked around the bed and sat next to Ephram. She placed her hand in his and with her help he laid his head in her lap. For an hour they stared into each other's eyes and played twenty questions. It was difficult to find subjects that they didn't know about each other, but when they dug deep enough they found there was so much that had been left unsaid. The subjects turned unpleasant, but the conversation was necessary.

"I am afraid that this story will end how Colin's did. You've suffered so much and there is no end in sight. What will I do if I lose you? I have loved you for so long and you are the only man I plan to love. To answer your question, if I could have anything it would be a future together. I want us to be a family and to have your child. Then, I want you to help me raise that family and be my partner. I want to laugh again and play. We are being cheated out of so much and you have hurt so much. I can't stand it!" Amy exclaimed.

"Wow. You want a lot," Ephram joked.

"Very funny. Ha ha not," she retorted.

"You know once and a while a dream can come true. The funny thing is that is my dream too. Our odds have got to go up when two people are dreaming for the same thing. Who says it can't happen? Some doctor? Knowing my dad, a doctor, I bet on us. Deal?" he said holding out his hand.

"I guess so," she said taking it. "Putting on a brave face and acting like we're gonna get the happy ending was easier like 25 pounds ago."

"I didn't know you gained that much weight," he joked.

"A smartass to the end. Look at you," she pulled his arm close to her chest. "You are so skinny Ephram and you were a stick before. I can't stand this watching you suffer and not be able to do anything."

"Amy if you are ever in doubt that you were helpful in this situation, don't be. You're keeping me alive. Hope is as strong as any pain killer I've gotten. Now we have to face a lot coming up and if I go into the hospital like the cancer's won, it's over. We will look back on this time someday and we will reminisce on how glad we are its over," he assured her.

"You're probably right. Now you are consoling me. I am so selfish," she said.

"Nah. We're in this together. The surgery is in three weeks. Let's do fun stuff until then. It may be awhile before I can again with the treatments afterwards. Let's go out tonight. I can't exactly take you bowling, but I'm sure we could find something to do," Ephram excitedly told Amy.

"If you're up to it, then of course I am. Let's change to a lighter subject for a bit," she said as she traced his bald head with her fingers.

"Okay. How many kids do you want?" he asked.

"Well, I've thought about that and it's so hard to know. I mean I think it really depends on the first. If you get a devil child it really isn't an encouragement to procreate four more just like it," she answered.

"I'm assuming you plan on procreating these children with me," he paused and she nodded. "By the way, I look forward to assisting you in making this child, but you think our child will be the devil?"

"No, but you never know. It's like at the grocery store you see some nasty kids and I bet their parents didn't plan them that way. Ideally, with no devil children, I'd like three or four total. Bright and I turned out alright, but I always wanted a sister. I think it would be nice to have a bigger family. What do you think?" she asked.

"Three or four would be nice," he replied softly.

"Being a mother just seems so far off. I can't imagine being compelled to take of an infant. You know it's like you see your relatives' kids and you want to hold, but eventually the urge to give them back is just as strong. I still feel like a baby myself. I guess that is the milestone you have to get through to be a woman. At least in my mind, I don't think it's losing your virginity or getting married that makes you a full blown woman. I mean you can still be selfish person and carefree when you do either of those things, but you can't when you have a child. The carefree youth is over whether it is planned or not," she paused and looked down at Ephram who had fallen asleep.

She gently lifted him off of her lap and laid him back on his side of the bed. She was careful to get up off the bed quietly so she wouldn't wake him. She covered him up with his blanket and placed on his forehead. She paused by the door for a moment, listened to his painful breathing and watched him sleep. She knew this was an unforgettable moment in her life. She memorized the scene and Ephram's appearance because she had a weird feeling that this would matter someday. Even though he was weak, he was beautiful to her. He was her beautiful man that knew and loved her better than any other could. She returned to the living room couch alone and a few more stolen moments of rest. Her mind was unsettled from another terrible day, but her exhaustion made it easy to sleep easily until the next moment that she was needed.


	18. We'll Wait Another Day

Chapter 18

Notes: This takes place a week after the last chapter. I'm following through on my promise to bring a speedy close to the story for all the long-time fans that have asked for it. Hopefully, everyone will like the direction the story takes and those of whom waited will read it.

Everwood was the most beautiful place on Earth in the winter to its residents. The snow-topped mountains made a very picturesque front cover of a postcard. The bitter cold was a side-effect of an otherwise delightful season in the small Colorado town. Even though the scene is beautiful in winter it is rare to find brave souls willing to really walk around take it all in with the freezing temperatures.

Two brave souls, Ephram and Amy, didn't seem to be phased by the cold this particular winter. Amy was conscious of the sickness it could cause in Ephram Brown's weak state, but wouldn't deprive him of taking in the natural beauty around them this winter. All she could do was bundle him up as much as possible and accompany him through the snow-lined streets.

So much turmoil and fear consumed the lives of the two, but now there was a peace in the air. The past week they had spent dating like life was normal. Behind Amy's back, Ephram asked his dad to take off time from work and look after him so in the weeks before his impending surgery they could live as normally as possible. He arranged all kinds of different activities that made him feel again. Today's activity was a walk through town and a romantic evening together. Tomorrow plans included a family evening with the Abbotts and the Browns together.

In an attempt to have these normal evenings, he asked that they both forget that he's sick and let the black cloud over their heads dissipate for awhile. Amy agreed, but secretly was pessimistic. Ephram was secretly not taking his pain medication so he would be more alert in these moments together.

The couple walked hand all the way through town and began walking down a snowy trail that would end up in the back of their old high school.

"Aren't you starting to get cold?" Amy asked.

"A little, but I'm more bundled up than an Eskimo. Only like a small portion of my face is vulnerable to the cold," he answered.

"I know, but that is what gets me. I can't stand when my face is cold. I really hate when my nose is cold," she said.

"I don't care. This is the most beautiful place. We have a perfect view of the mountain on this trail," Ephram said.

"It's a perfect moment," she agreed.

Ephram stopped walking and held Amy's hands as he pulled her close. "It's very romantic out here," he whispered seductively into her ear.

"What turns you on more? Is it the blistering cold or the icy sidewalk that we're going to have some kind of whiplash in our attempts to not fall on our butts?" she asked sarcastically.

He leaned over to whisper softly in her ear again, "You…You are so sexy," and began to nibble on her neck.

"Ephram," she replied as she began to blush. "We can't do this out here. We're probably not supposed to this anywhere while you're sick," she discouraged him.

"I don't feel sick right now. That's not on my mind at all at the moment," he paused to answer and then continued.

"But you are and we can't do this. Stop it," she said pushing him off of her.

His face dropped. For a moment, he didn't even know how to approach the situation. He decided to go with the simple approach. "Why can't we do that?" he asked.

"What do you want from me?" she said slightly raising her voice.

"I want an honest answer. I want to hear you say it. If we're still in love, why can't we do what lovers do? Why can't act like we're in love?" he asked.

She became silent.

"Do you not… want me anymore like that?" he asked almost on the verge tears.

"No. It's not like that," she said almost on the verge of tears herself.

"Then what is it. Tell me please. I um um…I'm really just confused. I just wanna be with you and make the most out of this time together. If you don't want me anymore… I don't know what to say," he said sadly.

She cam e close to him again and took his hands. "It's not that somewhere, deep down, that isn't what I want because it is. I've dreamed of nothing more. All I want is for this to be over and then we can go back to acting like that, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I had this dream that I never told you about right after you told me about the cancer. It was all my worst fears combined. We were married and I was pregnant. You suffered and went through hell just like you have been and then there was a surgery just like the one coming up. I could tell everyone knew you weren't going to make it. They all said goodbye one by one. I was last and I think I knew it too. I feel like I've lived in fear of that coming true ever since that night. I look at you like it could be the last time. I'm not strong enough for this to happen again. I'm afraid. It's not that I don't want you, but it is different now. It's hard to pretend," she said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'll let you in on a secret. If you're afraid, then I am terrified. I can make a list of all things that have happened that I desperately don't want to continue and all the things I don't want to happen. I think that is a waste of our time together. I don't think it is wrong to take this time before the surgery and be together. I think we would regret it otherwise. That dream of yours is kinda crazy. We were married huh?" he asked.

She nodded and let a small smile onto her face. "That's funny and a bit upsetting that this had to happen now because I didn't just bring you out here to look at the mountain. Our timing always sucked," Ephram joked.

Amy's mouth dropped as Ephram removed something from his jacket. "If this isn't what you want now, feel free to stop me anytime. I know you're scared and that dream has ya worked up, but I um ah I don't really feel like waiting around to find out what'll happen. When I came to Everwood I was lost. I didn't see much good in the world or that I could be happy after my mom died, especially here. I couldn't imagine fitting a world outside of New York. I hated this place from the start and dreamt about going became home when I met you. I don't think either of us realized it, but our lives changed in that moment. You became my home. You are the place where I at peace. I want us to be there for each other forever. I know I can't live without you disease or no disease. That doesn't matter right now. That isn't why I'm doing this or why I love you I promise you," he confessed as he slowly got down on one knee.

"Then what is it about?" Amy asked as tears streamed down her face.

"It's about I know that if I don't ask you to be mine soon…I'll die," he replied bluntly. "Here we go. Amy Abbott, will you marry me?"

There was silence. A million pictures were flashing through her head from the moment they met up till now. She knew there would never be anyone else that she'd want more than him. As crazy as it sounded, her only hesitation was she didn't want the dream to come true. If they were married that was another fact to corroborate that terrible dream. It was always in the back of her mind since it happened. She had been staring at the ground in the last few seconds of deep thought and when she snapped out of it, her eyes returned to Ephram. She took one of her arctic gloves and ran her hand across his cheek.

"If you say yes, it has to be now. It has to be soon. Don't you see? It's not about giving in anymore. Getting married is us not waiting to start our life together for anything. Not some disease. Not some dream. Not some fear of something we can't control. It all has to end someday. If that day is tomorrow I would rather end it together," he said trying to reason with her.

In that moment everything became clear. She loved him and he wanted to do it now. That is all that matters. "No regrets," she nodded her. "Let's do it."


	19. Hasty Plans

Chapter 19

The pair told their families the next night at dinner. Harold's first reaction was to protest the hasty nuptial, but Rose's swift kick to his shin under the table kept him quiet. They described their plan for a simple service to unite them eternally or until tomorrow. Upon hearing the news Amy was planning a wedding the following week, Dr. Brown appeared confused more than anything to those around him. He managed to utter out a few congratulatory remarks before excusing himself from the table. Ephram was quick to insure the table that that was nothing and Andy was just a bit emotional. This was a plausible story. There was not one person in the room that didn't understand the urgency in this situation. Ephram and Amy's wedding wouldn't be a celebration of their new life together. Instead a dark cloud of uncertainty would eclipse the proceedings because they were in hurry to start living before Ephram had a chance to start dying.

The Andy-less family ate, celebrated as much as possible, and started to plan. Harold eventually gave a very heart-felt blessing after a few minutes of his wife's eyes glaring at him. As the Abbotts were about to clear out, Ephram pulled Bright aside.

"You know you're my best man right?" Ephram said.

"I'd be honored man. I don't want to get too mushy or anything, but I just…I have your back ok," Bright said pulling Ephram into a hug.

When they finished their man hug, Bright headed to the car. Harold and Rose said their goodbyes and followed Bright. Amy paused by the front door. "You want me to stay with you tonight? I could just tell them I'll see 'em later. Say the word and I'm keeping you company tonight," she proposed.

"I would love that, but I think I need to talk to my dad. He looked a little sad. Rain check?"

"Soon I'll be your wife and we can spend every night together. So, yes I'll take that rain check. You need to get some beauty sleep tonight anyways. You look tired," she said as she cupped his face with her hand.

When Amy left, Ephram walked slowly to his father's room. This was a conversation he wasn't looking forward to. He knew when they dropped the news that his dad would have some kind of reaction. He knocked and Andy's soft voice replied.

"What are you hiding from?" Ephram asked.

"You know I don't when it happened or how it happened, but you're a man now. You aren't my little boy anymore. Ephram is all grown up. When you were just born and things were just wonderful between me and your mother we used to talk about what kind of man we hoped you would become. She used to tell me that she hoped that you would be just like me someday. Her idea probably changed over the years. At the end, she probably hoped for the opposite," Andy reflected in a sort of daze.

"What did you say?" Ephram inquired.

"I told her that I wanted you to experience things, everything actually. I hoped for you to be a man whose heart was full and someone we could be proud of. I gotta tell you Ephram I was right. I am proud of you," Andy said as tears filled his eyes.

"_Thank you_," Ephram whispered his reply.

"I'm happy that you and Amy want to get married. I had hoped that there would be a natural progression for the two of you, but I understand. I'm a confused about all that though and I think I'm not the only one that will be confused, especially in a few days. What's going on?" Andy asked.

"I have to do this. She has to know that she is what I want no matter what happens. She has to know that I want to marry her. Hopefully, someday she'll understand why I'm doing it. I don't necessary feel great about any of it, but she's so afraid that she's got enough anxiety for the both of us. I find myself scared for her…and for you these days more than myself. I'm probably wrong to do it, but my intentions are good and I'll try to explain to her in my own way," Ephram said answering Andy's concerns.

"Are you sure you want to do it all like that?" Andy questioned.

"I think this is how it should be. Definitely not the path of least resistance, but I've made my choice. Do me a favor and don't tell anyone, especially Dr. Abbott."

Andy and Ephram talked for a little while longer until Ephram found himself exhausted and headed to bed. Andy asked Nina to hang out in the house while he left for awhile, just in case. Andy headed to the closest bar. Soon after he started on his scotch, he heard a familiar voice order, "I'll have what he's having."

Harold gripped his drink and stared at it for a moment before taking a sip. "I don't think there was ever a better time for some liquid comfort. I see we had the same idea."

"Do you ever just look around, look at yourself and wonder where the years went?" Andy asked.

"Of course, it happens every time I look at my children," Harold replied as he took another drink, "What's on your mind Dr. Brown?"

"The end."

"I see," Harold paused to drink again, "When I first met Ephram Brown I will admit I disliked the boy immensely because he was the product of you, but I soon learned to relate to him for his tenacity in his dislike of you. We had that in common. That was three years ago or so and things couldn't be more different. Our children have fallen in love and I've grown to respect your young man mostly for his care of my daughter and his courage. Also, as difficult as it was you have given me more than one reason to make one of the men I respect most in this world. When the kids were talking tonight, my first reaction was to move in save my little girl, but I can't…and neither can you. All we can do now is sit back and hope for the best for both of them and pray I suppose."

"What happens if he dies? What do I do? I am supposed die and my son is supposed to live on," Andy worried.

"All you can do is have faith..it won't get to that."


End file.
